


The Watcher

by TheKnittingLady



Series: The Watcher [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: BDSM, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 38,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4981552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKnittingLady/pseuds/TheKnittingLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Unsub takes young men and kills them, so who is the woman who rescued Dr. Reid?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_Part 1_ **

_Standing as a witness in all things means all things - big things, little things, in all conversations, in jokes, in games played and books read and music listened to, in causes supported, in service rendered, in clothes worn, in friends made._

_Margaret D. Nadauld_

* * *

 

**Chapter 01**

**Station 7**   
**Manzanita County Sheriff's Department**   
**Manzanita County, OR**

**Morgan**

It was perhaps the crappiest police station Derek Morgan had ever had the misfortune of visiting in his life.

It was buried in the center of the Manzanita County, Oregon public works storage facility, which meant that it was all the way at the edge of the county seat, practically in the farm fields. The only good thing was that right up the road was one of those long term stay hotels and a restaurant. The bad part was that both businesses catered to farmers, ranchers and loggers, the sort of folk that tended to be a little wary of black kids from Chicago by way of a government agency. They also liked their food with ample fat, flour and salt. Morgan stuck a chair under his door at night, parked in full view of the security cameras and was starting to accept heartburn as a regular part of life.

He also accepted that it would take a good twenty minutes to get through the snarl of paving equipment, mowing equipment, service trucks and everything else trying to get through the county fuel yard and out the one gate in the morning. "'Morning, Agent!" The deputy at the gate called as he finally made it through.

The building was a large, metal Quonset hut, likely a leftover from WW II. Two-thirds of it was garage for the heavily forested county's large Search and Rescue unit. The remaining third held the SAR offices. The tiny reception area was decorated in wood paneling from the 1960's, pale upholstered couches from the 1970's and copies of  _Field and Stream_  from the 1980's. The walls were adorned with copies of pictures of the current president and governor, yellowing pictures of former sheriffs, and faded pictures of hunting scenes.

Morgan parked in the garage, tossed a tarp over his car, waved to the two old guys working on one of the SAR Jeeps, and headed in. He passed the secretary, an overstuffed woman in her 50's with hair dyed badly to cover the grey. She was kind and friendly though, very efficient and made amazing coffee. "Good morning Agent!" She sang out. He managed a smile and a polite reply.

Most of the office area was actually set up to be an operations center, both for searches and as a backup for the general one downtown. There was a big room with folding tables and chairs, lots of whiteboards, walls that would pin up maps or pictures with ease, and a bank of phones and radios. The remaining third, roughly, was actual office space. There was an office for the secretary and an office for the Captain who headed the unit and a small bullpen for the handful of deputies who did most of the grunt work. They kept up the specialized equipment, organized training for volunteers, were the first out for calls and so on. The walls of their space were lined with not only maps of this county but of all the surrounding counties as well.

And in the back, tucked into a corner, was a desk in its own little nook, well out of sight of the rest of the building. That was where Morgan went to set up his laptop. As soon as he settled Deputy Wilmer brought him the file from the night before. "'Morning Agent." He said. "Here's what came in last night."

"Thank you." Morgan replied.

That was what made this place so special. Because the local rivers and hiking trails, so popular with outdoorsmen, meandered across multiple county lines, the SAR teams from six counties in this part of the state had cooperative agreements to share information, including access to 911 files. Which meant that if someone from the BAU wanted to monitor those 911 calls this was the best place to sit and do it.

Sit here. Because this region was having an Unsub problem. And both they and the Manzanita County Sheriff suspected, but had yet to prove, that the Sheriff from neighboring Mariposa County had something to do with it. But he had kicked them out four weeks ago, a week into their investigation. And they didn't have enough to press the issue.

And one Dr. Spencer Reid went missing in Mariposa County just over four weeks ago.

Morgan quickly went over the 911 calls from the night before, but none of them were his little brother calling for help. "Nothing."

"Sorry Agent." Deputy Wilmer replied. "Hopefully we'll find something today."

"Hope so." Morgan sighed. Come on little brother, he thought, find your way.

* * *

 

.

* * *

This is set between Seasons 10 and 11, and cannon through Season 10.  Just something noodling through my head.

It's the crazy busy season around here, so expect slow publishing.  

\- TKL


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 02**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Hotch**

“I’m sorry Aaron.”  Unit Chief Cruz said.  “There’s nothing I can do.”

“Dr. Reid has been missing for five weeks.”  Hotch replied.  “So far we haven’t had a single lead.”

“Which is part of the problem.  Everyone knows he has a tendency to...wander.  And frankly he hasn’t made a lot of friends on the Senate committee.  Cramer is even pushing back against the Director on this one; he will not let us open a formal investigation until there’s some evidence of foul play.”

“Reid disappeared from his hotel room in the middle of the night...”

“...and took his badge, gun and wallet with him.  With no sign of a struggle.  That speaks to leaving under his own steam.”

“And there has been no hit off him since.  Nothing on his credit card, no use of his phone, no one has run his ID...”

“...which only means that he’s hiding from us.”

“He fits the victimology of the case we were working on.  Youthful, well-educated Caucasian male...”

 “...and five years older than the average victim in the case.  Even though he appears and reads as younger.”  Cruz sighed.  “I’m sorry Aaron, I truly am.  But it would damage the credibility of this unit if we forced ourselves upon a local office that specifically told us not to be there.  Especially if it turns out that the agent we’re looking for is up for disciplinary action when we find him.  My hands are tied.”

“I know.”  Hotch sighed as Cruz moved on.

After a few Rossi joined him.  “Anything?”

“No.  No help.  And Morgan and Garcia don’t have anything.”  Hotch shook his head.  “Now I wish I hadn’t written him up for the times when he followed his own lead.”

“If wishes were horses.  He’s strong you know.  He’ll figure out how to contact us.”

“I hope so.”

* * *

 

“Still nothing?”  Garcia asked the face on her screen.

“Not a word.”  Morgan replied.  “And I’m losing my help here.”

“Whyyy?  I thought Sheriff Johnson was all over this.”

“He was before the fires started up.  Now that’s his priority.  I can understand it.”  But he didn’t look happy.

“Look, Spencer is strong.  He’ll be okay.”

“I was right next door, Penelope.  And I didn’t hear a thing.”

“That just means this Unsub is good.  But we’re better.  We’re going to find him.  And we’re going to bring him home...to meet his new godson.”

“Godson?”  That finally got Morgan to smile.  “Heyyy!  JJ finally did it, huh?”

“Yeah, only a week late instead of two weeks early.”

“Is she good?”

“Yeah, everyone is.  I’m going to go say hi after I get off work.  We have a couple of hours, maybe I can bring her good news.”

“I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”

“I refuse to let them go down.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 03**

**Station 7**  
**Manzanita County Sheriff’s Department**  
**Manzanita County, OR**

**Morgan**

Six weeks.

Six weeks and not a single call.  Not a message.  Not a dime spent from any of his accounts.  Six weeks with no sign that Reid was anywhere on this planet.  Six weeks was a long time, anything could have happened.

For example, the forest fires in the area could start, and get a whole lot worse in six weeks.

The SAR station was also a great place for fire teams to stage, which meant that the offices were a whole lot busier than they had been when Morgan first landed there.  All he could do was stay out of the way.  He was grateful to the locals who kept anyone from Mariposa County well away from his corner; they didn’t want the Mariposa County Sheriff to know that the FBI was still in town.

But all thoughts of staying under the radar went right out of his head when his phone rang.  “Morgan.” 

“You have a collect call.”  The impersonal voice of the recorded operator said sweetly in his ear.  “This is a call from...”  There was a horrible , raking coughing sound.  “If you accept press one.”

Morgan was curious enough to press one.  A rattling, hacking cough rang over the line.  It was so bad he had to briefly pull his ear away.  “Who is this?”

The coughing continued, the kind that made it nearly impossible to catch your breath, the kind that bruised your ribs and tore at your throat and left a pounding headache and bloodshot eyes.  The kind that made rational people look at you and offer to take you to the hospital because a doctor ought to do something about that.  The person on the other end coughed and coughed until he finally, finally managed to catch his breath.  “Morgan.”  He managed to gasp out before the coughing started again.  “Help.”

“Reid?”  Hells yes!  Finally!  “Where are you?”

Spencer was gasping out words between bouts of coughing.  “Don’t....call Sheriff...He’s...the Unsub.”

“I won’t.  I’m coming for you myself.  Where are you?  Reid!”  Morgan flinched.  His little brother was coughing so _hard_.

Morgan heard a mumbled "Here" and then the tenor of the coughing changed to something more feminine.  She wasn’t coughing quite as hard, but pretty damned close.  “Please help us!”  She said.

“I’m going to help you.  Help is on the way.  Where are you?”

“At the jetboat dock on the river.”  She coughed again.  “Don’t call 911!  The Sheriff will kill us if he finds us!”

“I’m not calling the Sheriff.  I’m on my way there now.  You two stay out of sight, I will find you.”

“Please hurry!”  She gasped out between bouts of coughing.  “Spencer’s really bad!”

“I am on my way!”  Morgan got off the phone and went to find the Captain.

Five minutes later he was on the road, lights and sirens going, heading north on the highway as fast as they could.  Deputy Wilmer was driving, he knew the way to the jetboat dock and even where the pay phone was located near it.  And looking in the rearview mirror Morgan could see two ambulances in the distance, following them up there.  But right now he was more interested in his phone.  “Baby girl.”  He said.  “I found Reid.”

“Oh my god!”  Garcia replied.  “Is he okay?”

“I don’t think so.  I’m on my way to him now.  I need you to get Doctor Kimura on the phone and get Hotch in the loop for me.”

* * *

 

It was thirty minutes from Station 7 in Manzanita County to the off ramp for the biggest town in Mariposa County.  They made it in fifteen.  The highway was the jurisdiction of the State Police and Sheriff Johnson had given them a heads up as to what was going down.  The state parks were State Police territory as well, and there was one just on the outskirts of town.  Morgan left the ambulances there, as close to town as he could get without alerting the local Sheriff, and headed in to enemy territory after his partner.

They cruised into town quietly, just another anonymous SUV, nothing to look at here.  Not that anyone was looking, the town looked dead, shrouded under a pall of thick grey smoke from the forest fires raging not nearly far enough away.  It looked like some post-apocalyptic movie, Morgan thought, like there ought to be monsters roaming the town.   But the worst monsters were the human ones, he knew that perhaps better than nearly everyone out there.

They drove through the quiet town to the river.  The jetboat tours were popular with visitors, who brought in a major chunk of the local economy.  The dock reflected that, clean and well put together, with a vibe reminiscent of an amusement park, theme restaurant, big gift shop, landscaped area leading to the river dock.  Right now all of it was closed; the fires were too close to the river down at the far end of the tour.  So there was no one around.  No one at all.

They had to wear respirators, masks that covered their mouths and noses, just to get out of the car.  “Pay phone’s over there.”  Deputy Wilmer said.

Morgan walked across the parking lot.  Sure enough, this was the phone used to call him.  Reid had stood right here, but where was he...

Someone was coughing over in the bushes on the river bank.

That was where Morgan found them.  Spencer was sprawled out on the ground, half leaning against a small tree.  He was barefoot, in too-loose sweat pants and a too-small t-shirt, hard to tell what color since he was covered in a layer of fine grey ash.  He had clearly been trying not to cough and was losing the battle; he half rolled and let the spasms come deep from his lungs, his whole body contracting from the effort to try to breathe.

“Easy.”  Murmured the woman with him.  She was strong, Morgan could see that, but with fine bones and a delicate face nearly obscured with ash.  She gently held Spencer as he coughed and coughed, rubbing his back in soothing circles, even as she coughed herself.

“Let’s get them up.”  Morgan said.  He climbed the short distance down the bank and helped Spencer to his feet while Deputy Wilmer helped the woman.  They started half-carrying, half-dragging them back to the car.

Spencer felt too light, too insubstantial.  It was hard to tell his skin color under all that ash but he was working so hard to catch his breath.  But he still managed a small smile.  “Knew...you would...stay.”  He said between coughs.

“Yeah, you knew I wouldn’t leave you behind.  Come on.  Here” Morgan stuck his own mask over Spencer’s face, if only to stave off any more damage.  The air felt thick and hot, and it burned and scratched the throat with every breath.  “We’re going to get you to the hospital.  Come on.”

“Unsub team.”  The mask didn’t stop Spencer from coughing.  “Sheriff is...leader.  Ten...victims...dead...”

“We only found seven bodies.  Wait...”  They found the last one after Spencer went missing.  “Don’t worry about that now.”  He opened the back of the SUV and lowered Spencer to lie on the blanket he’d put there.  “Up you get.”  He said to the woman as he got her in next to Spencer.  When he looked he saw that she was crying.

Morgan couldn’t think about that, or about how Spencer took her hand.  Right now he had an ambulance to catch.  He had to get his little brother safe before he could get him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casting Notes:
> 
> As the mystery woman Jaimie Alexander, currently on Blindspot.
> 
> http://cache4.asset-cache.net/gc/482205914-actress-jaimie-alexander-of-blindspot-poses-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=X7WJLa88Cweo9HktRLaNXkUWNt3GFivOJXN%2FHpoj2mGMiikPN27L7LIP6HCxpCiiuEyQL20xdLG6W%2BHRUZnvluy9TADL%2BOChcHugWUONZNQ%3D


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 04**

**River Valley State Park  
Mariposa County, OR**

**Morgan**

Of course when they got to the meeting point they ran into their first snag.

Morgan had been too busy talking to Hotch, then some General, and then Hotch again to pay any attention to what was going on in the back of the SUV. He figured as long as he could hear Spencer coughing then Spencer was breathing so it couldn't be all that bad. Once they got there one set of EMT's took one look at Spencer, pulled him out onto a gurney, slapped an oxygen mask over his face and headed for the rig. The other set started tugging the woman to the other rig. Which was exactly when they reached that snag. "No!" She said between coughs. "I'm going with him!"

"Ma'am..."

"I. Am going. With. Him." She pulled away from them and scrambled into the back of Spencer's ambulance.

"Not worth the fight people." Morgan said. She was walking, likely she wasn't bad enough to get in the way. He squeezed into the front next to the driver and tossed his keys to Deputy Wilmer. "Meet me wherever we're going."

Morgan tried to listen to whatever was going on behind him. From what he could tell the EMT back there had given the woman her own tank of oxygen, but was otherwise focused on Spencer. "Do you have a medical history for him?" The EMT asked.

"Yeah." Spencer was in no condition to give it up on his own. "Hey baby girl. Send Reid's medical file over." He said to the open phone.

"It is on it's way." Garcia replied. "Anything you need to know right now?"

"Any allergies?" The EMT asked.

"Um, carboxypenicillins." Garcia replied.

"Got it."

"He also had a nasty lung infection a few years back." Morgan said. "The doc who treated him then should be talking to the doc at your ER now."

"Got it."

"And he doesn't take narcotics."

"He might this time."

"They gave him something." The woman said.

"What was that?" The EMT asked.

"They gave him something. The doctor there gave them all something. It put all of them to sleep but Spencer. Don't fall asleep." She said that to Spencer, jiggling his arm until his eyes opened and he blinked at her.

The EMT pulled out a light and flashed it in Spencer's eyes. "He could be on narcotics." He said. "That might explain some of this."

Son of a bitch. "I'm sorry. I have to." Morgan said to Spencer. "He used to be an addict." He said to the EMT. The woman didn't even flinch. "Dilaudid. He's been clean for...uhhh...eight years now. Doing the whole twelve step thing."

"Good for him." The EMT replied. "If it is narcotics they must have given him less than his old dose. Good thing, most narcotics depress breathing. He might not have survived full sedation."

"I couldn't get the others out." The woman said. "I couldn't move them."

"Move them from where?" Morgan asked. But she didn't answer. He twisted around and saw the tears running down her face.

As Morgan watched over his shoulder Spencer reached for the woman as if to reassure her it would be all right.

* * *

 

**Hyperbaric Unit**   
**Mercy General Hospital**   
**Manzanita Country, OR**

This was not what Morgan had expected. "A hyperbaric chamber?"

"Administering oxygen at double atmospheric pressure helps clear any CO2 and cyanide out of the blood before it can cause neurological damage." The doc said. "And given the scarring in his lungs he can use all the help he can get. We usually use these for wound care in cancer patients and diabetics, but this time of year we run firefighters through as well. How the hell did he catch Anthrax anyway?"

To hell with security, Morgan thought, his little brother was in trouble. "He got between a terrorist and the rest of the country."

"Huh. Don't get many heroes through here."

"He was doing his job." And now Spencer was just lying there, looking like he was sleeping peacefully. But he had a mask over his face and tubes running to his arms, and they hadn't bothered to wipe off all the ash before they put him in there. But he was safe now, he was safe, he wouldn't be hurt anymore. "How long is he going to be in there?"

"A few hours. And before you ask he's going to be here for three to four days, you might as well get comfortable."

Great. But it didn't matter, he was safe. Nothing else mattered past that. Morgan turned to find a quiet corner to call Hotch. Except..."What happened to the woman he came in with?"

The doc checked the computer. "Transferred out. LifeFlight to UCSF hospital."

Wait, flight? "To where?"

"San Francisco. We're underfunded and understaffed; we didn't have a bed for her."

Crap. She was the only other witness. "You got a name for her?" Morgan asked as he fired up his phone.

The doc checked again. "Nope. She's listed as a Jane Doe."

Yep, crap. "Okay, thanks." Now before he could call Hotch he had to call the San Francisco field office and have someone go button her up for him. On top of everything else. He stepped out into the hall and pulled out his phone. "Hey momma."

"How is he?" Garcia asked by way of a hello.

"The docs here think he's going to be just fine. They're using a hyperbaric chamber to treat him now. He's out cold in there. Looks to me like he needs the rest."

"Agent Morgan?" A nurse approached him with a baggie of some kind. "I have Agent Reid's personal effects."

"Okay, so he's going to be okay." Garcia said, a sigh of relief in his voice. "But what happened to him."

"Just put them on my bag in there." Morgan said to the nurse. He resisted the urge to correct her to Doctor Reid, at the moment it would only confuse things.  FBI agent was what mattered.  "I don't know yet, keeping him breathing and from being poisoned by the smoke was the first priority. When they get him out of there we'll run a check on him. Right now I need you to get me through to the San Francisco field office."

"I can do that. Why San Francisco?"

"I've got to nail down the witness."

* * *

 

Except he didn't. "She was gone by the time we got here." The field agent on the screen told them. "They refused to tell me if she was transferred or left on her own. They said it would be a HIPPA violation."

Garcia had them all networked in. Rossi shook his head. "Now we have to wait for her to come to us on her own."

"Hopefully the San Francisco field office can track her down." Hotch said. "For now we're taking the plane out to meet you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 05**

**Mercy General Hospital  
Manzanita Country, OR**

**Morgan**

“Wait.  We’re not going after this guy?”  Morgan asked.  He was shocked.  Spencer was held by an Unsub for weeks, one that had left seven bodies in the woods, and they weren’t going to do anything?

“We don’t have any evidence.”  Hotch replied.  He looked sheepish and apologetic.  “I know, I know.”  He stifled Morgan’s protest.  “Cramer will turn this around and say he was out using in the woods with some woman, was caught out by the fire, and now is trying to ruin the Sheriff to cover.”

“Oh that is bullshit and you know it!  Cramer can’t prove that!”

“He can’t, you’re right.  But we can’t prove Reid’s story.  There isn’t a mark on him.  He doesn’t bear any injuries like the previous victims.”

“The kit came back positive!”  That had been horrifying, ordering a rape kit on the man who was so much like his little brother.  But more horrifying were the initial findings.  It would be weeks before they could run DNA but it looked like multiple samples were present.  The thought made Morgan’s skin crawl. 

Hotch just looked at him a long moment.

“Son of a bitch.”  Morgan muttered.  Yeah, Cramer would say that.  Without any evidence of force or coercion it could be argued that Spencer had volunteered....

“The only other witness has disappeared.”  Hotch continued.  “And he was found with narcotics in his system.  There isn’t anything to back up his story and that last might be just enough to support Cramer’s.”

“You really think anyone is going to believe that Spencer Reid ditched his job to spend six weeks in drug fueled orgy in the Oregon wilderness?”

“The agent who was too young to begin with, who came in under Jason Gideon’s personal request with a stack of waivers in his file?  Cramer can make anyone who doesn’t know him believe that.”  Morgan sighed.  Hotch was right.  “I believe Spencer.  Everyone who knows him believes him.  The Director is going to bat for him.  But with Congress the way it is right now Cramer holds too much power.  The best thing we can do to help Reid is let it go.  Let him take some personal time to heal and when he’s ready have him come back to work.”

“What, we’re not even going to be there for him?”

“We’re already down by two people with JJ and Kate on maternity.  With him out we’re seriously shorthanded.  We need to go back in the field as soon as he returns to DC, the cases are piling up.”

“And if this Unsub kills again?”

“Then we re-open the case.”  Hotch sighed.  “I’m sorry, my hands are tied.”

Now it was Morgan’s turn to sigh.  “I’m the one who’s sorry.”  He said.  “I was so focused on Reid I didn’t even think to ask where they were sending the girl.”

“It’s all right.  We should have been out here with you.  Now we just have to help him through this.”

Hotch left to catch up to Rossi and Sheriff Johnson.  Morgan turned to the visitors chair again but a voice from the bed stopped him.  “The Unsub won’t strike again.”  Spencer said.

“Hey, look who’s awake.”  Morgan said, feigning cheerfulness.

“The Unsub got what he wanted.”  Spencer continued.  His voice was so faint and hoarse that it was almost painful to hear.  “His lair has been destroyed, he’s dispersed his team, unless he’s triggered he won’t attack again.”

“Do you think he’ll come after you?”

“No.  I should be far outside of his comfort zone by the time he even realizes I’m still alive.  And he’s convinced I have no credibility with the FBI.”  Spencer managed a smile that wasn’t.  “Thanks to Cramer the FBI’s behavior will support that.”

“Hey, kid...”

“While it’s just us there is one thing I’d really like to know.  Why did everyone go all out for Strauss and leave me to sort it out on my own?  Am I that bad at my job or is this whole family thing just an act?”

Now that question stunned Morgan.  “What?  Are you sure they’re not giving you something in that IV?”

“Oh they’re giving me a lot in this IV.”  Spencer looked up at the bag with a more honest smile.  “I am feeling remarkably loopy.  None of it narcotic though.  You know, you only break sobriety if you ask for it.  Not if it’s given to you in an emergency situation.  Or in my unique case by an Unsub.”

Morgan didn’t want to get sidetracked.  “Strauss got the same deal you did.  One shot at rehab and ongoing support from one of the shrinks.”

“I didn’t get that.  I didn’t get any of that.  And she didn’t exactly have the excuse of an Unsub causing her initial addiction.  I never went near the stuff before Tobias.  I never even considered it.”

“Wait, what?”  Now Morgan was confused.  “Gideon said he took care of it.  I heard him tell Hotch.”

“Gideon sat me down for a talk.  I detoxed in my own bathroom, an old friend from college came up to help me.  And I didn’t get any support until I decided to go to group on my own after that case in Chula Vista.”

 

Morgan was stunned.  “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”  Now it was Spencer’s turn to be confused.  “Wait, you thought Gideon sent me to rehab?”

“Yeah.  In your case medical detox and a weekly set up with a shrink.  And you just didn’t want to talk about it.”  Well damn.  “I’m sorry.  I had no idea Gideon didn’t get you set up.  I don’t think Hotch does either.  If I’d have known that I would have...”

“You would have done that for me?”

“If I could have.”  Granted Gideon or Hotch would have had to do it.  And having Hotch do it would have made it very official...  “I would have at least come over and helped your friend hold your head.”  Spencer chuckled at that, and Morgan realized that something that had been there between them for a long time was gone now.  Just like that.  And Morgan hadn’t even realized it had been there.  “If there’s anything I can do now...”

Spencer turned more serious.  “Help me put those monsters away.”

Morgan could understand that.  He’d hated Carl Buford for how long?  “You got it.  But we have no evidence and the only other witness is gone.”

“Start with getting Garcia on the phone.”  Spencer started struggling to sit up.  “And find my clothes.”  He got to sitting, swung his legs over the side, and dissolved into a coughing fit.

“No.  Now here...”  Morgan hurried to raise the bed and push Spencer back into it.  “We can send other people to find her.”

“We’re not officially investigating, remember.”  But he sank back in the bed.

“Do you know where she is?”

Spencer nodded as he coughed again.  “I have a pretty good idea.”

“Any chance she’ll move from there?”

“Unlikely.”

“So we can go tomorrow.  After they let you out.”

“I guess.”

“In the mean time let’s see what my baby girl can do for us.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 06**

**Station 7**   
**Manzanita County Sheriff’s Department**   
**Manzanita County, OR**

 “None of this fits.”  Hotch said.

“Why not?”  Rossi asked.

They were in a conference room out at Station 7.  “Because Reid doesn’t fit victimology.”  Hotch replied.

“White, male, slender build...”  Rossi said.

“Yes, but all the victims were between 18 and 25.  Reid is...32 now.”

“But he reads at least five years younger.”

“All the victims were college students down at the university in Lakeland.”

“Reid is a perpetual student.”

“They were all openly homosexual.  I know, I know...”  Hotch stopped Rossi there.  “He looks the part.  All of the victims were taken in couples off the street in Lakeland, usually when they were on their way home from a party.  Reid went missing from his hotel room up in Lee’s Pass.  That’s where the Unsub dumps his victims, not where he hunts for them.”

“Lakeland could just have a higher population of targets.”  Rossi said.  “Both towns are part of the Unsubs comfort zone.”

“True.  All of the victims had signs of repeated trauma and injuries consistent with rape.  Reid didn’t have any marks or any consistent injuries.”

“Except we all know he’s straight as a string so it would have to be.”

“But why didn’t he fight?  And all of the others died of strangulation.  Reid was the only one found alive and with narcotics in his system.”

Rossi sighed.  “That’s a lot of inconsistencies.  I wish we hadn’t lost the witness, she likely would have been able to help there.”

* * *

 

  **Mercy General Hospital  
Manzanita Country, OR**

**Morgan**

They set Garcia churning away, getting background on a name for them, then let her be while she worked.  “You know, I know I have to be interviewed in depth.”  Spencer said between coughs.  “Is there any chance I can work with someone not an immediate member of the team?”

“We can find someone.  Kate maybe.”

“That would be okay.”

“Let’s try to cover the basics.  How did he get you out of the room?  I was next door, I didn’t hear a thing.”

“Remember those complimentary bottles of water that they had in the rooms?”

“Yeah, there were three....”  Morgan picked up his tablet and flicked through to a page in the report.  “They aren’t listed on the room inventory.”

“I suspect the Unsub’s crew took them with them.  It was so dry I downed one before bed.”

Ahhh.  “Roofies?”

“Likely.  Something anyway.”

“Your badge, phone and gun were missing.”

“My badge and my phone were on my nightstand.  My gun was under my pillow.  A cop would know where to look and to take those items to make it look like I left willingly.”

“They must know someone who works at the hotel.”                                                         

“That day manager who made everyone uncomfortable was part of the Unsubs crew.  The Sheriff is the one who referred us to that hotel, remember?”

“Yeah, I do.”  Morgan shook his head.  “Did you get a good look at his crew?”

“I did.  Some of them were deputies.”  They spent the next few going over the crew in question.  Sure enough, three of them were deputies in their 20’s, one in his 30’s managed the hotel, one about that age was likely a local mechanic, one older man was a doctor and there were two other older men. 

“What did they all have in common?”  Morgan asked.

“Severe denial leading to self-hate that they turned on others.”  Spencer replied.  “They all had a favorite porn studio they liked to copy, one devoted to homosexual BDSM.  Only they played for real, used those ideas to really hurt people.  But at the same time they enjoyed what they were doing.”

“We don’t need to go into details now.”  Spencer got kind of soft around the eyes when they got to close to what happened in between.  Morgan intended to keep him away from that for now, on what happened when he was first taken and what happened when he escaped.  The in between could keep for a few days, it wasn’t like he would forget.  “So why did he target you?  You don’t fit the profile.”

 “I’m close enough.”  Spencer replied.  “And I fit the one crucial requirement we couldn’t have known about.”

“What’s that?”

“Being a smart ass.”  Spencer managed a smile that did not reach his eyes.  “The Sheriff isn’t in denial even though he’s married to a woman, I believe he’d actually had an affair with another man for many years.  But he is a sadist and he was using the setup both to cover his own activities and to punish people who had embarrassed him or thwarted his will somehow. I’m thinking either NPD, BPD or a combination of the two.  The other victims had all turned him down at one time or another.   Remember when he was making those comments about violence and young people?”

“And you corrected his statistics.”

“He was being an ass about it.”

“Yeah, but for those diagnoses that would be enough to put you on his target list.”

“And I fit the physical parameters of the kind of man who would be a likely target for his crew’s rage.  I’m okay with being different.”

“There you go.”  Morgan nodded.  Spencer had crossed the Unsub, so it became personal.  That was why the Unsub broke pattern.  “Okay, so why didn’t you fight?”

Spencer’s eyes softened but he took a deep breath, coughed it out, and continued on.  “They controlled their victims by threatening the other person in the couple.  Don’t fight or we’ll do this and worse to the person you love.  Protective instincts over special people can be very strong.”

“But you weren’t part of a couple.”  No, wait.  “The girl.”

“Alice.”  Spencer nodded.  “I didn’t know her before, but...”

“But she’s a civilian.”  And if it was a choice between an Unsub going after one of them or after a civilian it was them, no question.  Morgan nodded.  “I would have stepped up too.”

“It looked like eventually every victim crossed a line with them.  After that there was about a week long orgy of violence when they didn’t bother keeping them healthy anymore, leading up to the final killing.  One of the deputies, Schrader, was the one who actually did that.  He’s perhaps more sadistic than the Sheriff.  That’s what left the marks we saw, that final orgy of rage.”

“Okay, makes sense.  So how did you get out?”

“Alice.”  Spencer replied.  The last clear thing I remember is them dragging the others out of the room where we were kept.  Then they came in after me with a hypodermic.”  Now his eyes started to go too soft.  “I tried to fight but there were three of them, about your build...”

“Hey.  Hey.  Easy.  I get it.  You don’t remember anything after that?”

I remember Alice pulling me outside.  It was...dim, and really hot, and I couldn’t breathe for the smoke.  It seems like there was fire everywhere.  And then I remember being on a boat on the river.  And I remember her propping me up in a phone booth and telling me I had to call my friends.  And I kinda remember the ambulance.”  He shook his head.  “I didn’t ask for it, I fought as best I could, but I was really high for a few hours.”

“There was fire everywhere, the forest fire was getting close, and everyone but this Alice was drugged.”  Morgan said.  “They left the door open and she had access to a boat.  They were letting her get away.  But they had to have known she wouldn’t have been able to carry the other victims out.”

Spencer was looking off into the horror of memory.  “That was her final punishment.”

Morgan was going to have to explore that more closely.  But first things first.  “But you weren’t completely sedated?”

That snapped Spencer back to the here and now.  “No.  They, um, used a less potent dose than Tobias used.  I was still able to walk, more or less, although I was really out of it.  I guess you could say he saved my life again.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 07**

**Mercy General Hospital  
Manzanita Country, OR**

**Morgan**

 “Alice Huntington.”  Garcia said over the video connection.  “Alice Huntington.  Yep, she has an Oregon license now but she lived in California until four years ago.” 

Garcia put her picture up on the screen.  Sure enough that was the fine featured woman with the big, green eyes Morgan had seen.  She wore her dark curls in a short bob when the picture was taken but it was longer now.  Spencer got all dreamy when he saw her, even though he was squinting hard.  “What can you tell us about her?”  Morgan asked.

“Alice Huntington, of the Big Four Huntingtons...” Garcia said

“The Big Four Huntingtons?  Why are you squinting like that?”   

“No glasses.”  Spencer said between coughs.  “She’s a direct descendent of Collis Potter Huntington.  He was one of the founders of the Central Pacific Railroad in the late 1800’s along with Leland Stanford, Charles Crocker and Mark Hopkins.  They were called the Big Four, being the four wealthiest men in the west in their day.”

“You can tell me when you’re healthier.”  Morgan said, heading the lecture off at the pass.

“Your spare glasses are on their way out with your go bag.”  Garcia said.  “Can’t they do something about that cough?” 

“It’s better if I cough.”  Spencer replied.  “It’s getting the ash and soot out of my lungs.”

“Ouch.  Okay, so those Huntingtons, meaning she has the kind of money that involves a trust and lawyers and that sort of holy wowness.  She’s 30, is a writer and photographer for _Victoria_ magazine which is very frilly and shows a lot of stuff I can’t afford but would really like to, travels a lot but her important mail goes to a lawyer’s office in San Francisco.”

“She has a business partner named Tomás.”  Spencer said.  “They owned an inn in Lakeland.”

“They did.”  She confirmed.  “Tomás Urquizo.  They owned the Winchester Inn, twenty rooms, a very well reviewed restaurant, an award winning wine cellar; it looks like it was actually profitable for the years they owned it.  But then they put it on the market for much less than it was worth...less than a month before the first victims went missing.”

“I’m getting the sense that there’s a trigger in there somewhere.”  Morgan said.

Spencer nodded.  “Tomás’ romantic partner Joey Bauer was the Unsubs first victim.  Tomás helped him escape.”

“And that was the trigger.  But how was Alice involved?”

“That’s kind of complicated.”  Spencer was still coughing.

“Short form?”

“The Unsub attempted to assault and possibly kidnap him.  They panicked.  Tomás took Joey to their other property to get him out of range, Alice stayed behind to close the sale of the inn.”

“So she was the target of opportunity.  But what was he doing with her all this time?”  Morgan asked.

“Like I said, complicated.”  Spencer replied.

“Okay.”  They could get into that later.  “So you think she went to be with her partner?”

“She would feel safest there.”

“They also own a place called The White Swan Inn.”  Garcia said.  “It’s a B&B in San Francisco.”

“There we go.”  Morgan said.  “However she left the hospital she’d go there.  Garcia, tag all three names and their accounts, if they go anywhere...”

“I will be all over it.  You take care of him my love.”

“I always will my goddess.”  Morgan smiled as he hung up.  “So we need to go find this Alice.”

“We need to go find the other bodies.  There’s evidence out there, we just need to get to it.”

“How is going to be the question.”

* * *

 

**Station 7**  
**Manzanita County Sheriff’s Department**  
**Manzanita County, OR**

“You just leave that up to me.”  Sheriff Johnson said.

“It’s in his jurisdiction.”  Hotch said.

“I know.” 

“It’s in the middle of a fire zone.”  Rossi said.

“I know.”

“If there are bodies out there they’ve been all but cremated.”

“I know.”  Sheriff Johnson smiled.  “You all just give me a better idea of where to look then ‘somewhere downriver’.  Once we get a location if there are bodies out there we’ll find them.  Sheriff Blackburn won’t be covering anything up once I get the state police and you all involved.”

“I hope you’re right.”  Hotch said.

“Don’t worry.  We’ve got our ways out here in Oregon.”

* * *

 

**BAU jet  
Between southern Oregon and northern California**

Now that the witness had been located the Director gave the go-ahead to proceed with an actual investigation.  Hotch sent agents from San Francisco to pick up Alice Huntington and at Spencer’s suggestion Tomás Urquizo and Joseph Bauer as well.  As the plane leveled out Morgan, who was chilling with his music, looked over at Spencer as he heard something drop with a snap.  “What are you doing?”

Garcia had sent Spencer’s go-bag and satchel out overnight, so he had what he needed for a few days, and also a good sized leather book.  Now Spencer groaning and rubbing his eyes.  “Um, writing down what happened.  At least I was trying to.”

“Why?  It’s not like you’re going to forget.”

“No, I’m not.”  Spencer managed a small smile.  “It’s generally considered good therapeutic practice to journal something like this.  Helps you sort out your thoughts and emotions.  I figured I’d get a head start.”

It made sense, Morgan thought, and was sensible and not a big deal.  Except for one slight problem.  From the microexressions Spencer was lying about something.  “Not a bad idea.”  He said.  It really wasn’t, so why lie about any part of it? “What do you mean trying to?”

“I mean my glasses are not helping.”  Spencer rubbed his eyes again.  “My prescription is substantially different.”

That was honest frustration.  He wasn’t lying there.  “Something they did?”

“Yes.”  He sighed, but those microexpressions signaled concern bordering on fear.  “Hopefully not permanent.” 

 Morgan knew there had to be something.  “Let’s find out.”  He pulled out his phone.  “Baby Girl!”

“Talk dirty to me darling.”  Garcia replied.

“Can you get our boy here in to see an eye doctor...”

“...ophthalmologist...”  Spencer said.

“...ophthalmologist in San Francisco today?  The Unsub left him with an injury after all.”

“Oh.  I can make that happen, leave it up to me.”

“Thank you momma.”  Morgan rang off.  “Any chance it can be fixed?”

“I hope so.”  Spencer replied quietly.  “You know with Alice...is this the same ethical conundrum I faced when Lila...”

“No.”  Morgan replied.  “You and this Alice girl are both victims.  With Lila you were an agent on the case.”

Hotch was walking back from the galley with some coffee.  “Know what I think?”  He said casually.  Spencer and Morgan looked around at him.  “I think you should be happy.” 

Well. That settled that.  Spencer smiled, nodded, murmured his thanks and went back to not writing.  Morgan followed Hotch’s nod and joined him and Rossi at the four person table.  “The Winchester Inn.”  Rossi said as they sat down.

“That mean something?”  Morgan asked.

“It might.  I stayed there on a book tour a few years back.   I met Tomás Urquizo.  He seemed like a very efficient, level headed sort.  He ran a nice place. Now, ask me why I stayed there.”

“Why did you stay there?”  Hotch asked, humoring him.

“Because they cater to the BDSM community.  I found the place listed on a social media site dedicated to that community.  According to said site The White Swan Inn is owned by LVC’s Good Daddy, aka Tomás Urquizo from the pictures, who is the ‘daddy’ of one CountryBoy21.”  He chuckled a little.  “It even comes with a dungeon.”

“CountryBoy21?”  Hotch asked.  “Joseph Bauer?” 

“Uh huh.  His picture matches his license. But LVC’s Good Daddy is, quote, in service to, unquote, one Lady Victoria Collis.  She does not have an actual picture up.”

“Who is Lady Victoria Collis?”  Morgan asked.

“Collis Porter Huntington.”  Rossi replied

“And Alice Huntington works for _Victoria_ Magazine.”  Hotch added.

Rossi nodded.  “She lists herself as a Leather Top.  A Leather family or house is small community of people who participate in BDSM or Leather Culture whose bonds mimic that of a birth family.   A leather family often has a ‘Head of Family’, and some sort of hierarchy between members.”

“And Sheriff Blackburn and his crew were twisting BDSM fantasies to meet their own ends.”  Hotch replied.  “He at least must be familiar with the culture.  Reid said that Alice said that Joseph Bauer was Blackburn’s first victim.”

“Yeah, but he’s gay, from what we know.”  Morgan replied.  “Sounds like he’s hooked up with Urquizo.”

“But Alice might be head of house.”  Rossi replied to that.  “If Blackburn is familiar then he would blame her for stealing his sub.  It would be her responsibility in the end.  That could explain why she ended up in his torture chamber.”

“But she wasn’t tortured.”  Morgan said.  “Why not?  Why did he let her go at the end?  And what happened between her and Reid?”

“And how did someone like her end up heading up a leather family of gay men?”  Rossi asked.  “Urquizo lists eight former partners he’s still connected with.”

“This is what we have to find out.”  Hotch replied.

“Hey Rossi.”  Morgan asked after a beat.  “Do you have an account on that site?”

“I will never, _ever_ answer that question.”  Rossi replied.  “I wonder though...”

“About?”  Hotch asked.

“I know a Lady Victoria from the scene.  From San Francisco too.  Not closely.”  Rossi held up a hand to ward off concern.  “I met her at a couple of parties, that’s all.  I just wonder if she’s the same one.”

“Hopefully soon we’ll find out.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all those familiar I'm taking two inns in San Francisco, the White Swan and Petite Auberge and combining them into one mental image. 
> 
> And for all of those who want me to update Percival's Dominatrix and The First Run, I will get new chapters up on both sometime this week, but since I generally don't publish a story until I'm 10 chapters ahead publishing will also continue on this one.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**San Francisco International Airport  
Private hangar**

**Morgan**

They had to turn their phones off to land.  Morgan’s rang as soon as he turned it back on.  “Okay, I have the appointment.”  Garcia said.  “Is he okay?  Is he completely blind?  What happened?”

Morgan made it easy on everyone and put it on speaker.  “I’m not blind Garcia.”  Spencer said.  “Everything is just really blurry.  It’s like being without your glasses.”

“So put your glasses on.”

“They _are_ on.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  Hotch asked.

“I was hoping having my glasses back would resolve the issue, or at least substantially help.”  Spencer squinted at the world once more.  “That does not appear to be the case.”

Hotch gave Morgan and Rossi a look.  They all knew that Spencer would have explained what happened by now if he could have without substantial emotional distress.  “Can it be resolved?”

“Very likely.  There are only three injuries that could have resulted from...”  Yeah, Spencer was not going to be able to go there just yet.  He took a deep breath.  “My concern is that two would require surgical intervention.”

“If that happens we are totally there for you!”  Garcia said from the phone.

Rossi nodded his agreement with the others.  “But let’s hope for the third.”

* * *

 

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

Morgan always insisted later that he just happened to be standing close enough to hear when Alice Huntington and Spencer Reid found each other once more.  “You’re alive.”  Said the slender dark-haired woman as she stepped into Spencer’s arms, her hands coming up to cup his face.  Her voice was soft and husky, likely from damage from the fire, or from something that happened before.  “You’re going home.”

“Thanks to you.”  Then he pulled her in tight, buried his face in her neck, and just breathed her for a while.

They weren’t going anywhere.  The remainder of the team left them there in the hallway.  In the office Morgan spotted a familiar face.  “Hey Seaver!”

Ashley Seaver beamed a smile back.  “Hey stranger!”  She accepted hugs from him and from Rossi and a handshake from Hotch.

“How’s life in Andi’s neighborhood?”  Morgan asked.

“Great.  Just closed a major case out here day before yesterday.  I finished up the last of my paperwork this morning.”

“Are you heading back today?”  Rossi asked.

“I was, but then I was offered a ride on the BAU jet in exchange for a little...ummm...” 

After a moment Rossi and Morgan got it.  “Babysitting?”  Rossi asked.

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“We’re shorthanded.”  Hotch said.  “I need you both on interviews and Reid can’t carry right now.  So I looked for some help.”

“Makes sense.”  Morgan nodded.  With JJ and Kate on maternity and Spencer on the injured list they were very shorthanded, no question.  “Baby girl should have him set up with a doctor’s appointment today, get an injury looked at by a specialist.”

“Not a problem.”  Seaver replied.  “I’m glad to help out.”

That settled they went to introduce themselves to the two men in the waiting area.  The older was Latino, urbane, beaming a smile at the couple.  The younger was hanging behind him but also all smiles.  He was slender, Caucasian, and looked younger than his twenty-one years.  A perfect fit for their victim profile.  “Tomás Urquizo?”  Hotch asked as he offered his hand.  “I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner.  I’m Dr. Reid’s unit chief.  Thank you for coming.”

It was accepted with a nod and a smile.  “Yes.  Very nice to meet you.  This is Joey Bauer.”  He indicated the younger man who ducked his head, shyly.  “Anything we can do to help catch this monster, you know.”  He peered past Hotch to look at the two once more.

“Problem?”  Hotch asked.

“Just the opposite.  It’s good to see her happy.”

Hotch introduced Rossi, Morgan and Seaver.  They collectively turned just as Morgan caught, “...kisses with lime custard.”  Alice was once again lightly caressing Spencer’s jaw, and he looked to be about to melt into the cheap carpeting.

“Alice.”  Tomás called politely.

“Oh.”  She turned where she was and smiled to the group.  “Of course.”

Introductions were made.  Morgan hung back to observe the body language.   Alice was tired, worn, but she maintained a confident grace.  Reminded him of Blake somehow, of all people.  Hotch was his usual in-charge self.  Ashley was patiently waiting.  Joey Bauer read as shy, a little nervous, but he came all over eager when he met Spencer, like he wanted to crowd over and start talking.  Tomás was more confident, a little deferential to Alice, suppressed Joey enough to keep him behind him.  When he offered Spencer his hand he came across as pleased.  And Spencer came across as nervous and excited.  And there was something else, something that put Rossi’s eyebrow up.  “What?”  Morgan murmured as Hotch led the group to a conference room.

“I should know better than to make assumptions.”  Rossi replied.

They settled in the conference room.  “We need to interview each of you.”  Hotch said.  “The information we gather will increase the odds of both stopping the Unsub and getting a conviction when we get there.  But the first thing we need to know was where the house was located.”  The computer in the room pinged, Garcia came on in split screen and opened the connection to Station 7.  “This is Sheriff Johnson from Manzanita County...”

“I remember.”  Alice said.  “I voted for you.”

Sheriff Johnson smiled.  “Thank you.”  Introductions were made, then.  “Did you head up river or down river?”  Sheriff Johnson asked.

“Up river.”  Alice replied.  “There was a window in the bathroom.  I used to see the jetboats going by every day.  I figured if I could get to their dock I’d find a phone.  So I headed up river the way they’d come from to try to find them.”

“Do you remember what the river looked like where you left?”

“There was an island...”  Her eyes drifted closed in memory.  “Up river was to my right, the island was on the left.”

“How many curves did you go around?”

“Oh...I don’t know.”

“Did anything stand out?”

“There was this one point...I thought I went into a lake, but then I found the river again.  We went through this canyon...it was all slick stone; the cliffs went right to the water.  And it was very narrow.”

“Hellmouth Canyon.”  The Sheriff nodded.  “Did you pass any other island between the one where you left and the canyon?”

“No?”

“Was it a good sized island or just a little spit of sand?”

“A good sized island.”

“Carpenter’s island then.  Just above Indian Riffle, on the south-west side of the river.”

“I can find that.”  Garcia pulled up a satellite image showing a wide river and an island.  And there on the south side was a large house hidden in the trees, down a short drive from the main road.  “This was taken before the fire.”

“Can you get a current picture?”  Hotch asked.

“I can but it’s all smoke.”  She replied.

“That’s all right.”  Sheriff Johnson said.  “We can find it now.  Leave it to me.”

“Thank you Sheriff.”

“Not a problem.  I’ve been looking forward to this one.”

They signed off with the Sheriff and Hotch turned to the group.  “All right.  Morgan, why don’t you interview Mr. Bauer, Rossi you take Ms. Huntington, Mr. Urquizo, you’re with me.”

Morgan moved off with the others.  Time to get to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casting:
> 
> So we already have Jaimie Alexander as Alice
> 
> http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/jaimie-alexander-premiere-the-last-stand-05.jpg
> 
> Gael Garcia Bernal as Tomás Urquizo
> 
> http://ladybud.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/gael-garcia-bernal.jpg
> 
> And Jason Dolley as Joey Bauer
> 
> http://coolspotters.com/files/photos/922852/jason-dolley-profile.jpg


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

**Morgan**

Joseph ‘Joey’ Bauer looked a lot younger than 21 to Morgan’s eyes.  “You sure this is a genuine ID?”  He asked, even though he was sure it was.

Joey blushed and took a few more years off.  “Yeah.  I don’t know if I got lucky in the looks department or not, but yeah, I’m legal.  So how do you do this anyway?”

“Why don’t we start with where you’re from originally, and what you do?”

“I was born in Lee’s Pass.  I grew up in Madrone County.  As far as I know my folks still live out there.  These days I...well, I was going to be a freshman at San Francisco State, but we’re moving to DC.”

“That bother you?”

“Nah.”  That was honest.  “I don’t mind another semester before I have to buckle down.”

“As far as you know your folks still live out there?”

That took some of the bounce off the kid.  “Yeah.  They kicked me out when I came out at fifteen.  I haven’t spoken to them since.  I tried a couple of times but they say they don’t have a son.”

“Ouch.”  That was rough, but it wasn’t an uncommon story.  “Where did you go after that?”  Morgan asked.

“I couch surfed for a while.  To the end of the school year.  My junior year.  That summer I kind of lived around.”

“You were homeless.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you do anything for a living?”

“Yeah, hustling.”  Joey swallowed.  “That’s where he found me.”

“Prostitution?”  Morgan asked to clarify.  Joey nodded.  Morgan wouldn’t shame him for it, fifteen and on the streets is tough.  “He busted you?  How old were you then?”

“Sixteen.  I thought he did.  But he didn’t take me to jail, he took me out to his hunting lodge instead.”

“And what did he do there?”

Over the next hour Morgan regretted asking that question.  Joey calmly described two years of rape, torture and brainwashing to make him into the perfect sex slave.  Morgan took lots of notes and tried not to think about it too hard.  “So how did you get out of there?”

“He decided I was good enough to take out in public.  Once I turned eighteen he decided to start showing me off in the local community.  The first munch wasn’t so bad.”

“Munch?”

“Yeah.  It’s a social gathering over dinner, no sex or nudity or anything.  It’s a way for newbies to be vetted before they’re let in.  We met in the backroom of this Chinese place in Johnsford.”

Johnsford. County seat in Manzanita County, next door to the Sheriff’s county.  “Likely so he wouldn’t be recognized by any locals.”

“Yeah.  No one really talked to me at the munch.  He kept getting in the way.  The next week he brought me to the community dungeon for a play party.”

“What happened there?”  What followed was another fifteen minutes of Morgan not thinking too hard.  “And no one in the community said anything?”

“That’s just it, they all did.  The other Doms got between us and some of the female Dommes pulled me aside and started asking me about safewords and stuff, where I lived, about school.  I didn’t have good answers, so they knew something wasn’t right.  Then they asked how old I was and how long I’d been with the Sheriff.  That was when it really hit the fan.”

“All right.”  So the community stepped in when they thought something was hinky to protect a vulnerable member.  He’d have to ask Rossi if that was a common thing or not.  “So what happened?”

“They kicked him out on his ear.  Threatened to report him for rape and assault and that I had been a kid and everything.  He couldn’t stand up to all of them so he left me there and took off.”  Joey chuckled.  “Some of those Doms and some of the male subs are pretty big guys, you know.  They were in the parking lot for a while.”

“Right.”  Sounded like Sheriff Blackburn got a beating to go along with losing his perfect slave that night.  “So then what happened?”

“At first no one knew what to do with me, but then Tomás and Alice said I could come stay at the inn with them, free of charge.  So I went down to Lakeview with them.”

“And what did they make you do?”  This was the part that held personal concern for Morgan.  Spencer was getting in close with these people after all.

“Nothing at first.  I had my own room and bathroom, I could watch anything I wanted, they had tons of books, all they asked was that I not leave the property without them for a while.  Which I wasn’t going to, I was better trained than that.  But it was, like, nothing for a long time.  I knew they were going to want me to do...things, you know.  And I never had with a woman before so I was kind of freaking out about it.  The waiting, you know, it was killing me.”

“So what happened?”

“Finally I blew up at Tomás.  I begged him just to get it over with all ready, I couldn’t wait anymore.  He told me he wasn’t going to just take me, that I had to earn it now.  And, you know, you get used to that much sex...”

“Yeah.”  Hydraulic pressure could be a thing, especially in younger men. Morgan remembered eighteen, a different honey every night...  “So what did you have to do to earn it?”

“Get checked out by a doctor and dentist.  Start seeing a shrink.  Eat my vegetables.  Start working out. Go back to school for my GED.  Do some chores around the inn, which I found out later he was paying me for...”  Morgan started chuckling, which set Joey to grinning.  “Yeah.  If he had told me I was too broken for sex I would have fought him every step because I thought I was fine.  But he challenged me instead, so I started working on getting healthy just to prove how good I could be.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, finally.  About a year ago I figured out what they were doing, so I got my life together.  I found a job offer, a room I could rent, pulled together a grant package for school.  I got to where I could be independent if I had to be, I didn’t need them anymore.  Then went to him and asked him if I was good enough yet, because even though I didn’t _need_ him I was killer horny and after watching how they ran the house and all I had totally fallen for them hard.  He finally agreed that if I was healthy enough to be on my own I was healthy enough to play.  I’ve been theirs ever since.”

A year ago.  “So you lived with them for two years and they never touched you?”

“Nope.  Granted Alice travels a lot, but Tomás was always there.  Neither of them ever laid a finger on me.  Not until I was healthy and ready to ask them to.”  Joey smiled.  “Going back to the public dungeon again after that was a total blast.  I had the most amazing time.”

“So what happened with the Sheriff?”

“About six months ago I’m walking home when the Sheriff’s truck pulls up to me.  He gets out and starts trying to sweet talk me, saying I could ‘come home’ again, I wouldn’t have to live on the street anymore, that kind of thing.”  Joey chuckled without humor.  “I had been volunteering at a service center for street kids, I was dressed down for the day.  I told him I belong to a House now, I have a family who loves me, my life is fantastic and he can go to hell.  He tried to grab me so I took off running.”  Joey got quiet again.  “That night Alice and Tomás put the inn on the market.  That sucked, you know.  I loved that place.  I mean the place here is nice and all, and the city is amazing, but still.”

“Yeah, having to move like that can be hard.  Is that when you and Tomás left?”

“No.  A couple of weeks later two guys tried to grab me off the street again.  I recognized one as one of the deputies from Lee’s Pass, a...john I’d been with a couple of times.  Only this time it was only a block and a half from the inn.  I ran home and told Tomás and he and Alice decided that I needed to get out of there.  That night Tomás and I caught a flight down here.  Alice stayed behind to look after the last few guests and stuff before the inn transferred over.”

“But she never came back?”

“No.  One morning the day shift manager from the restaurant called, said she wasn’t there like she usually was.  Alice is, like, the queen of self-discipline.  She always met the day shift manager on the way in, while she was heading to the Y to work out, every day.  But Alice wasn’t there and she wasn’t scheduled to be away for work.  We knew something had happened.  We tried filing a missing persons report, Tomás talked to her lawyers, they contacted her family, but she was just gone and there was no sign that anything bad had happened.  Until a few days ago when she walked in the front door of the inn.”  Joey shrugged.  “And now here we are.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

**Hotch**

“How are you related to AliceHuntington?”  Hotch asked, getting straight to the point.

“Legally?”  Tomás asked.  “We’re business partners in a small, privately held corporation.  We’re also roommates.”

“And lovers?”

Tomás  smiled.  “In a way.  We prefer the term partners.”

“All right.  How long have you and your partner been together?”

“The corporation was formed in 2006.  We’ve been roommates since then, friends for, oh, about fifteen years.  My sister Pricilla introduced us back in high school.”

“And how do you know Joseph Bauer?”

“Oh we are lovers.  We’ve been together for three years now, although it’s only been physical for the past year.”

“How did you two meet?”

“He came to the dungeon up in Johnsford.  It was a...bad scene.  He ended up coming home with us that night.  You want me to elaborate, don’t you.”  He said in response to the look on Hotch’s face.

“Please.  And assume I know nothing about the lifestyle.”

“All right.  The first time I saw Joey was at a munch.  A munch is a social gathering, usually dinner, no nudity or sex play.  The format of one is that we go around the room introducing ourselves, giving our preferred titles and how we like to play, then the Dungeon Mistress reads off the calendar for the month, a discussion topic is thrown out and gone over, and when that wears down its social time.  Joey came in with this bigger, older man, big gut, grey hair.  Joey’s hair was too short for his face and he looked too thin and too pale and just hung back behind what we assumed to be his Dom, never really talking to anyone.  It was at a Chinese place that served really huge portions, Alice and I usually shared and still managed leftovers.  Alice noticed that Joey didn’t actually eat anything, even though his Dom had a huge plate.  And when we went around introducing ourselves the Dom, Blackburn, introduced Joey as his slave.”

“And that didn’t bother you?”

“No.  Six other people introduced themselves as slaves that night.  But they spoke for themselves; Blackburn didn’t let Joey speak to anyone all night.  Still, that happens.  It didn’t raise that big of a red flag.”

“And you were there with Alice Huntington?”

“Yes.  We went to the munch together.”

“With anyone else?”

“Not this time.  The following week there was a play party at the dungeon.”

“A play party?”

“Yeah, a potluck party where people do engage in different kinds of BDSM scenes.”

“Were you there with Alice?”

“Yes, but just to socialize.  We don’t play together in public.”

“And you saw Blackburn and Joey there?”

“Yes, they came in right after us.  We were in the front room setting our stuff out on the potluck table.  Blackburn was a little upset that Joey had to sign his own copy of the rule sheet and that the DM asked to see his ID.”

“The DM?”

“The Dungeon Mistress.  She rents the building, owns the gear, generally manages the club.”

“He had to sign a copy of the rules.  I assume they both did, to state that they had read and understood them.”

“Yeah.”

“And the ID was an age check?”

“Yeah.  We noticed that Blackburn had Joey on formal manners right off.  No speaking to anyone, no looking anyone in the eye, on his knees and facing his Dom most of the time...”

“That’s unusual?”

“Formal manners?  It’s done.  Alice and I do it on occasion.  But usually people take time to socialize a bit when they come into the space, say hello, settle in.  Blackburn didn’t allow any of that.  He made Joey serve him from the buffet and then when he was ready he took over the spanking bench for a scene.”

“Spanking bench?”

“Yeah.  It’s a padded piece of furniture designed to support someone comfortably while they kneel over it.  The scene was...”  Tomás shook his head.  “It was too heavy, too much.  It...wasn’t right.”

“Can you elaborate?”

“For starters, people get naked in the space.  Most of the submissive women run around topless, the submissive men strip to their underwear.  But most of the people in a community that small know each other, they’re familiar with the space and the energy, they’re comfortable like that.  Blackburn took everything from Joey as soon as they were through the door.”

“Which made him uncomfortable.”

“Yes, visibly so.  Which also indicated a lack of trust in his Dom.  Then the scene...look, some people are heavy bottoms.  They can take a hard beating; they enjoy the pain and the sensations of that sort of thing.  But the ones who can do so safely have a lot of meat on them, a lot of muscle.  The black guy out there, Morgan?  That kind of body type.  Not some scrawny kid who’s showing his ribs and his backbone.  And heavy scenes can make observes uncomfortable.  It’s one thing if it’s a well-established partnership, or a Top who’s well known to the community and a bottom with that kind of build.  These two were new, this was their first party.  The trust wasn’t there.  Blackburn beat him bloody in front of us.  And Joey clearly wasn’t enjoying it, he was suffering through it.  He was in tears.”

“And no one stopped it?”

“It’s rude to stop a scene unless the submissive calls their safeword.  But nearly everyone in the place was trying to come up with an excuse.  You know, looking at each other and whispering.  Then Blackburn mounted Joey, right there in front of us.”

“Mounted.  You mean anal sex?”

“Yeah.  Now that dungeon is sex positive, but there are spaces set aside for it.  Separate rooms to use, unless a couple is really well known.  And Joey was clearly not ready for it, not relaxed, and Blackburn didn’t use any lube or a condom.”

“That sounds more like rape.”

“He didn’t say no but it was too close to the line for everyone.  Thankfully the dungeon has a strict rule about condom use, as soon as that started the DM stepped in and stopped the scene.”

“How did Blackburn react?”

“He was furious, of course.  Acting like he was entitled because he was male and the DM is female.  But the male doms in the room got between them and hustled him out to the front room, to try to get him to calm down.  Reminded him that he signed off on the rules and all of that.  Eventually we took him outside for a smoke.  He was still pissed but at least he had it under control.”

“What happened then?”

“Twenty minutes later Alice comes out and gives me the look to come over.  Turned out not only did Joey not know what a safeword was but he said he’d been with Blackburn for two years, and that he was eighteen.”

“So Blackburn had been using him since he was a minor?”  Hotch asked

“Yeah.  Even not having a safeword to stop the scene would have been enough but that was way over the line.  A minute later the DM comes out, dropped Blackburn’s gear at his feet and told him to get out.  He wasn’t welcome in the community anymore.  He said he wanted his property, she said that bag was his property.  He said he wanted his boy, she said he wasn’t his boy anymore and to get out before she called the cops.  Then she and Alice went back inside.  One of the other doms called him a fucking disgrace.”  Tomás smiled.  “That was when the fight got started.”

“I assume Blackburn lost.”

“Oh yeah.  He took off spouting curses and threats.”

“Did you call the cops?”

“No.  It would be a he said/she said.  And cops don’t tend to believe a bunch of freaky weirdoes.  Most communities police themselves.”

“So what happened to Joey?”

“Alice and I took him home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of setting up a second "story" attached to this one, and putting all the x-rated stuff over there, so that readers can access it if they want and those that don't can just skip that part and move on to the conversations before and after those bits. Something like Spencer being scared and being taken out of the room by the Unsub in chapter 12, for example, and then having non-specific wounds bandaged in chapter 13, and if you want to see how he went from one to the other you can go to the other story and read chapter 12.5. Or not and not lose the narrative at all.
> 
> What say you all? Keep the x-rated stuff in? Put it in another story for optional reading? Leave it out because no one is interested? Vote in comments, let me know what you think.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

**Hotch**

“You took him home?”  Hotch asked.

“Not like that.”  Tomás replied.  “Alice and I co-owned a bed and breakfast up in Lakeland.  We put him up in one of the empty rooms, told him to clean up and get some rest, join us for breakfast, and not to leave the property.  That’s all.”

“You didn’t have him looked at for rape?”

“That would have been...difficult.  In his mind he consented to what happened.  It wasn’t the first time he and Blackburn had had unprotected sex.  And an emergency room would have questioned the wounds and contacted the police, which would have involved Blackburn.  At the time it seemed better to not get the authorities involved.  He’d been given first aid at the dungeon, we had a number of nurses as members.  They helped.”

“All right.  So what happened the next day?”

“We had breakfast and left him to his own devices until dinner.  But Alice and I kept close, in case he wanted to talk or start falling apart.  He spent most of the day in the garden, he said he hadn’t been outdoors that much in years.  But over the next few days he grew quieter, more tense.  Finally he let go at us.  He’d never been with a woman, had no clue what to expect, wanted us to just get it over with...”

“He was waiting for the abuse to start?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you do?”

Tomás paused for a moment.  “Agent Hotchner, do you have any children?”

That was an unexpected question, and one Hotch was always wary about.  “I have a son.”

“How old?”

“Ten.”

“Did you ever notice that when you tell some kids not to do something that’s the first thing they do?  Or you tell them to do something and they’ll never do it?”

“Challenge authority, sure.”  Jack was a good kid, but even he had his moments.

“But if you make a game of it, challenge them to prove to you that they can do it, offer them a reward...

“...you get their enthusiastic participation.”  Hotch nodded.  He’d used a similar technique to get Jack to clean his room.

Tomás shrugged.  “I told Joey if he would always be welcome in our inn, but if he wanted to be our submissive he had to prove himself worthy.  He would have to show that he had the commitment and fortitude, by our standards, not by Blackburn’s.  That if he was willing to prove himself he could earn a place in our House and the security that went with it.”  He sighed.  “I was manipulating him, of course.  I was using his fear of abandonment and the outside world to get him to do what I wanted.  But it worked.”

“What did you want him to do?”

“See a doctor, when he was healed enough to not draw attention, and then do what the doctor told him to do to get as healthy as he could.  Same with a dentist.  Same with a therapist.  I wanted him to go back for his GED.  I expected him to “help out” around the inn, which I started paying him for although I didn’t tell him at the time.  And I wanted him to keep his hands out of his pants, there was a lot of healing and re-learning he needed to do around his own sexuality, he needed to take a long break from sexual activity before he could begin that.”

By now Hotch was chuckling.  “And he did it?”

“Oh, all of it.  It was a direct challenge, he was going to prove himself no matter what.  He was so dammed adorable too, this bumbling puppy in the body of a surfer god.”  Tomás shook his head.  “No, we didn’t go there.  Not then.  Not until he was ready.”

“When was that?”

“About a year ago.  His therapist called to give me a heads up, said he had a breakthrough.  I noticed he was a lot quieter at meals, starting that night, and he started spending a lot more time away from the inn.  He had off-property privileges by then, of course, he was taking classes at the community college and volunteering at a program for homeless youth.  After about a week he came to me.  He said he knew what I had challenged him to when he first came to us.”

“He did?”

“Yes.  He had a job offer from a very well-respected restaurant in town, the same job he’d been doing in my kitchen so he knew he would be successful.  He had an offer from some friends in school to be their roommate.  And he’d found out he could cobble together enough financial aid to go to the local university.  He no longer needed to trade his sexuality or his submission for safety and security.  He was free now to give it to whomever deserved it, no strings attached.”

“And he chose you.  Because you had the patience and strength to respect him and wait.”

“He chose us, yes.”  Tomás turned red as he smiled.  “I have never been so honored.  We’ve been together ever since.”

“When did Blackburn come back?”

“About six months after that, six months ago.  Joey came in one afternoon all disheveled and wild and said that Blackburn had seen him walking and tried to accost him.  We knew that now that Blackburn had found him it was just a matter of time, and Alice and I both firmly believe that people matter more than places or things.  Since her mother had finally passed we decided it was best to get Joey out of harm’s way.  We put the Winchester on the market and started moving back to The White Swan, at least temporarily.  The Winchester sold quickly.”

“What happened next?”

“We ran out of time.  Before we could close escrow Blackburn tried to grab Joey again.  Alice sent us down here that night, she was going to stay to look after the guests we had until we transferred the keys.  A couple of days later my manager called and said that she was missing.”

“Did you file a missing persons report?”

“I did, but she traveled a lot and paid cash.  No one was truly worried.”  Tomás sighed.  “We didn’t hear from her for months and months, I’ve been so worried.  Joey kept trying to blame himself.  Then a few days ago she walked in the front door.  The rest you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I am going to create a separate "story" with the truly explicit bits, both consensual and non-consensual, but each chapter will be labeled as such. I'll post as they come up in the story, which means that the first bit will come up in chapter 15.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Pacific Vision Institute  
San Francisco, CA**

**Seaver**

“They did what?”  The doctor looked from Spencer to Sever and back again, shock evident on her face.

Seaver nodded.  Spencer’s story was horrifying, of course, but it wasn’t surprising at all.  “Yeah.”  She said.  When they arrived they had introduced themselves as FBI, explained that it was a field injury, that they were concerned that it might be emergent and so on.  The people here were very welcoming and willing to help.  “I actually transferred out of the BAU...his unit...because the criminals they go after are so...out there.”

 “Where do you work now?”  The doctor asked.

  “In Human Trafficking.”  Seaver replied.  The doctor swiveled to give her another of those looks.  “It’s much less nightmare inducing.”

“Really?”

“Manson is considered basic entry level to them.”

“I helped interview Manson a few times now.”  Spencer said.  “Did you know he knows how to knit?  He made me a hat.”

“Got it.”  The doctor turned and went back to work.

Seaver sat in the corner where she could guard the door and politely didn’t listen for a while.  After about three-quarters of a magazine the doctor moved away and turned to her notes.  “The good news is that I’m not seeing any permanent damage.”

“That’s great!”  Seaver said.  Spencer gave her a very relieved smile.  “So, if you don’t mind, his boss will ask...”

“That’s fine.”  Spencer said, giving the doctor permission while he sat up and settled himself.

The doctor pulled over a plastic model of the eye.  “This is the cillary muscle.”  She pointed to a ring around one of the middle layers.  “It’s job is to adjust the curve of the lens of the eye to accommodate seeing things clearly at different distances.  His is locked in a muscle spasm, in both eyes.”

“The technical term is pseudomyopia.”  Spencer said.

“Ouch.”  Seaver had dealt with muscle spasms before.  A charley horse of the eye could not be comfortable.  “Can it be treated?”

“Oh yeah.”  The doctor made a few more notes.  “Medication, new lenses, even some physical therapy.  The bad news is that it can take a few months to resolve.”

“Can I work?”  Spencer asked.

“Maybe.  The big thing is to avoid eyestrain while you’re being treated.”

“Can I _read_?”  Now he sounded worried.

“Yes, with good light and frequent breaks.”

“Only one book at a time then.”  Seaver teased him.  He could easily finish between those frequent breaks after all.

“The big thing is to avoid backlit screens.  They tend to be the worst for inducing eyestrain.”  The doctor said.  “No more than thirty minutes a day and that in ten minute chunks.  And this includes tablets, computers, televisions and movie theaters.  If you can work around that then you’re golden.”

Spencer considered this.  “I’ll talk to our tech goddess.  If there’s a work around she’ll find it.”

“Good.” 

There was the usual bustle of paperwork, prescriptions and so on, and in due time they were heading to the lab next door.  “At least it’s not permanent.”  Seaver said.

“I know.”  Spencer sounded relived.  “Similar injuries have lead to cataracts in the past even when they don’t cause scarring on the lens.  Good thing I kept my eyes closed.”

“Real good thing.”

He was quiet for a moment, clearly remembering.  “Alice warned me.  They hurt her for doing that.”

“Hopefully not too badly.”

“No, she’s recovered.”

“I’m glad she took the risk.”

They reached the entrance to the showroom where Spencer stopped.  “Ummm, speaking of Garcia, she helped me pick out my last three frames....”

Helping Spencer shop for new glasses?  Seaver grinned.  “Now this I can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So trufax time. Way back in college (*mumble mumble* decades ago) I had a class with Charles Manson's ex-cell mate who knit his way through our lectures. I knit in lectures as well, and we became friendly before I found out he was an ex-con. He taught me how to knit a short-row, which he claimed he learned from Manson, and gave me a hat pattern he claimed he got from Manson as well. It makes up a very nice hat, I still use it regularly. I also short-row my sock heels. So I guess you could say Charles Manson taught me how to turn a sock heel, once removed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

**Rossi**

“So I have to ask.”  Rossi started as he settled in opposite the seemingly fragile woman.  “Are you the same Lady Victoria who hosts the high protocol dinner at the Red Door Club every year?”

Alice smiled and relaxed a little more.  “I am.  I thought you looked familiar.  Padrone di Rosso as I recall.”

“Outed.”  He replied with a smile.  “I always hate meeting anyone from that community in a professional capacity.”

“I can see why now.  Oh.”  She buried her face in her hands for a moment.  “I can’t believe it’s actually over.  I keep expecting to wake up and still be there.”

“That’s a reaction to the trauma.”  He had to be gentle here.  “Can you tell me what happened?”

“He was jealous because of Joey.  Because I convinced Joey not to go back to him.  Because I repaired the damage he did.”

“You repaired?”

“We helped Joey get over what that monster did to him.  Of course he ended up falling in love with Tomás, hardly a surprise.  But in the end he’s mine.  They both are.”

“And you?”

She smiled, just a little.  “Oh, I loved him from the moment I set eyes on him.  Not like that, I know that now, but he is such a wonderful young man.”

He was going to have to go at this from a different direction.  “I have to ask, why do you have a House full of gay men?  You could have a string of submissives of your own just waiting on your every breath rather than having to go through Tomás.”

She sighed.  “Unfortunately most of the straight male submissives I’ve found aren’t really interesting in belonging; they’re interested in having someone create a fantasy for them.  Usually some combination of forced sissy, CBT and humiliation.  I don’t enjoy any of those activities and I don’t appreciate being topped from the bottom.  And besides, when most men get to know me they aren’t interested.”

“Why on earth not?  You’re attractive, intelligent, cultured....”

“Because I’m not attractive.”  She looked down at herself with a sigh.  “My mother runs the family charitable trust.  It’s popular today to say that she ‘leaned in’, and put her career ahead of her family, and expected me to do the same.  She never married, I never knew my father, and our family isn’t a close one.  So when I started school she decided I was old enough to look after myself afterwards and I became a latchkey child.  One day I decided I wanted grilled cheese sandwiches after school.”  Alice was wearing a grey long sleeve t-shirt with a fairly high neck and holes in the cuffs for her thumbs over soft black pants.  Now she raised the hem of her shirt to reveal the rough, red-brown twists of burn scars that cascaded down her torso.  “Most straight men I’ve met prefer their Dommes to be flawless.”

“Ouch.”  Rossi nodded.  Scars like that would make even vanilla dating a lot harder.  “But how did you end up with a house full of gay men?”

“I met Tomás back when we were in high school.  His sister and I were roommates, she set us up for a school dance.  He wasn’t out to his family yet.  He told me though and we decided we enjoyed each other’s company enough to hang around together, let everyone believe we were a couple so he wouldn’t have to come out until after high school, and so I could get all my friends off my back about dating.  Now, when I went to boarding school my mother decided she didn’t need a house anymore so she sold it.  I spent my first Thanksgiving vacation with her in a hotel in Chicago, bored out of my mind.  When she asked me where I wanted to go for Christmas I said Disneyland, being all of twelve, so she sent me there.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, for most of it.  I had an unlimited pass for the park, ample funds, safe transportation to the park via monorail, I could order anything I wanted from room service, and housekeeping kept the room up.  I was kind of lonely but otherwise it was ideal.  She showed up on Christmas Eve, we spent Christmas Day together, and then she went back to work and I went back to school.  The next vacation I was invited to my roommate’s family home in the city.  Mom didn’t want me staying with strangers; I know it makes no sense, so she reserved a room at the Intercontinental here in the city.  I ended up spending most holidays there, usually hanging out with Tomás.”

“Okay.”

“Anyway, one time we were bored and decided to see what all the fuss over pornography was about.  We started with straight vanilla porn because I was paying for everything.  But it wasn’t...the men  weren’t all that attractive...”

“Most men who watch straight porn don’t want to feel outclassed.”

“...and I was envious of the women and all the focus was on them and it just...it just didn’t do anything for either one of us.  Then Tomás asked if we could try some gay porn.  It was...a revelation.  No flawless women to be envious about.  All of the focus was on these amazingly beautiful men.  Really, I don’t know why more straight women don’t watch gay porn.  They’re all so lovely, their faces and voices and bodies espcially.” She smiled gently.  “I guess I fell in love with all of them.  I told Tomás he could bring his boyfriends to my hotel room whenever he liked, so long as I didn’t have to leave.  One thing led to another.”

There was more to it, she was evading something, but Rossi decided to go for that a bit later, give her a little more time to get comfortable.  “You said not like that...”

Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find the words.  “He said he honestly doesn’t care.”  She replied.  “He doesn’t care what I look like.  I supposed we’ll see what happens when he has his vision treated, and when all of this is truly over...”

Ahhh.  “If he said that he meant it.  I have never known Dr. Reid to be free with his attachments to women.  In fact I’ve only ever heard him say anything once before.”

“Maeve.  He told me.  I just never thought....”

“You love them, all the men in your house, like a good Master loves those under them.  But in the end, while they are yours they don’t return that love, not in the way you give it.  You never thought you’d find someone who would.”

“...as an equal.”  She replied.  “He’s not really submissive you know, for all that he is very gentle.”

That kind of surprised him.  “He always said he wasn’t an alpha, his words.”

“Nonsense, he’s just vastly quieter than all the other alphas I know.  Quiet and very strong.”  She shook herself back to the topic at hand.  “Anyway I do love Joey.  He is mine, even though he and Tomás are so very in love still.  And Blackburn knew that.”  He could see her mind reverting to the horrors of the recent past.  “He knew it was my house all along.  That was why he took his revenge for losing Joey out on me.”

“How?”

She looked at him with sorrowful eyes and began.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

**Rossi**

“The last thing Jack said to me was that he was going to go find Mikey.”  Alice said as she tried to wipe at the tears falling down her cheeks.  “Then he closed his eyes and was out cold.  I couldn’t even shake him.”

They had been talking for hours.  Dave Rossi knew everything that had happened from the night she was taken.  From a professional point of view it was fascinating, a team of Unsubs like that and how they worked together to satisfy their perverted needs.  From a personal point of view it was horrifying.  He ached for the man he considered close to a son, he would do anything to make it never have happened.  And he ached for the woman before him, she had been raped in all but the legal term of the word, her sexuality utterly destroyed.  He would do anything to make it never happened for her as well.  But that was impossible, so he had to do the next best thing and see it repaired somehow.  With any luck, given the right situation, they could heal each other.  “What did you do?”

“I begged them to tell me what they did, but all Schrader said was that they had one more thing for me to watch.  As they left I heard the Doctor say that he hadn’t had enough, he had to give the last one a smaller dose, and Schrader saying it didn’t matter.”

“The last one?  Spencer?”

“Yes.  When I went back to the room he was leaning against the wall but still on his feet.  He was drugged, you could tell, but he was still awake and moving.  I put his arm over my shoulders and started up the stairs, looking for a door.  Upstairs you could smell the smoke, it was all gray out the windows.  I heard something I think, something got my attention, I turned and saw that the door was open.  When I got outside I saw them pulling away from the dock in a boat, and that there was another boat there.  So I started heading that way.  But as I got clear of the house I heard this roaring noise getting closer.”

“Roaring noise?”

Alice nodded.  “We turned and there was this....this wall of fire.  It was just...everything.  Everything was on fire, glowing red hot through the smoke.  It was coming straight for the house.  I ran, dragging Spencer and I got him into the boat.  But when I went back to get the others...”  She stopped on a sob.

“Bella...”  It was enough.  They could get more later, it was enough.

“A tree fell on the house.”  She sobbed out.  “It was a log cabin and this giant tree was on fire and it fell on the house.  Right through the center of it.  Right where the stairs were.  I couldn’t get to them.”  She fell apart into tears once more.

Rossi stared in dull horror as he realized what had happened to the last three victims, what so nearly happened to his friend.  “You did everything you could Bella.”  He said.  “They were heavily sedated.  Likely the smoke got to them first.  They didn’t feel any pain.”

“You...you think so?”

“Yes, I do.  They went to sleep and then they woke up someplace safe and warm where they could be together, where there is nothing but love.  I firmly believe that.  And you should too.”

“I keep trying to.”  But she was getting her sobs under control once more.  “Spencer called for me to come back, and I couldn’t...I got in the boat and headed up river, in the direction the jetboats came from.  I figured if I could find the tour dock I could find a phone.  Eventually I did but there was no one there.  Thankfully we found a pay phone, and Spencer said his friend Morgan would still be in town.  And he was.”  She shrugged.  “The rest you know.”

“Why did you leave the hospital here in San Francisco?”

“I was afraid the Sheriff would find me.  I knew Spencer was safe with the FBI around him but I was afraid Sheriff Blackburn would trace me and then through me back to Joey.  I was so afraid...so I went back to the inn, I was going to grab Joey and Tomás and all the cash on hand and run but Tomás insisted I was overreacting and too sick so he made me stay for a few days.  I went to bed, I couldn’t stay awake any longer, next thing I know the FBI is in the lobby.”

“All right.”  That was the story then.  Or enough for now.  “I may have more questions about the details later.”

“Anything I can do.”

“Thank you.”

She was quiet a long moment, then, “You know, I’m planning to go to DC next.  Move there, at least for a while.”

“I know of a few B&B’s for sale in the area.”

She looked up to see his smile.  “The FBI won’t...”

“You leave the FBI up to me and Hotch.  I think he deserves to be happy, and I suspect you’re going to be a big part of that.”

She managed a smile then.  “I hope so.”

He stood and offered a hand.  “Shall we go see if he’s back?”

She accepted the offer but hung back.  “He never did have his glasses.”

Oh, of course.  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“I just...”  But she took a deep breath, held her head high and stepped out into the main office again.

Sure enough Spencer and Seaver were back, and Spencer was sporting a brand new pair of glasses.  Rossi discreetly stepped over to the coffee pot, just far enough to make it look like he was stepping away, but close enough to listen.  He watched from the corner of his eye as Spencer wrapped long fingers around Alice’s waist.  “You’re just as beautiful as I imagined.”  He said.

She sighed and shook her head.  “You don’t know...”  She pulled his hand under the hem of her shirt.

“No, I know.”  He said, even as he didn’t take his hand away.  “I just don’t care.  You’re still beautiful.”

For a long moment she looked at him.  “You mean that.”

“I do.”

She looked up into his eyes, and slowly melted against him.

Rossi left them to it and went to join the others.  “Never say he doesn’t have game again.”  He said to Morgan.

“Yeah, I got that.”  Morgan replied.  “Now what?”

“Well, Alice was talking about moving to somewhere around DC.”  Tomás said.  “I don’t know where yet.”

“Until you move I’d like to leave an FBI presence at the inn.”  Hotch replied.  “Just in case.”

“I wonder how fast she can pack.”  Rossi said.

“Alice?”  Tomás asked.   “Pretty fast.  Under an hour.  Under thirty minutes if she has to.”

“Not that fast.”  Rossi replied.  “You know, the plane takes ten.  Even with Seaver along we’re only five.”

“Seriously?”  Hotch asked in perfect deadpan.

“Look at them.”  Rossi said.  “It would be like separating two puppies.  He’d mope all the way home, and she’d just fly out commercial.  Besides, I know you Aaron Hotchner.  You’re as much of a romantic as I am.  You like to think of something good coming out of a case for once as much as I do.”

By now Morgan and Seaver were chuckling.  Hotch sighed.  “We leave in three hours.”  He said to Tomás.  “Assuming we’re not fogged in.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**FBI Field Office  
San Francisco, CA**

**Morgan**

They were fogged in.

Hotch hung up the phone with a pained sigh.  “What?”  Rossi asked.

“They can’t find hotel rooms.”  Hotch replied.  “Some kind of convention...”

Rossi considered a moment, and then laughed.  “Folsom.”

“What?”

“The Folsom Street Fair.  It’s the biggest gathering of the kinky, leather, and likely gay communities on the planet.  They take over most of the South of Market neighborhood for the week.”

“And every hotel room in the city.”

Tomás cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry for the intrusion but we have rooms available.  We don’t rent rooms out this week.”

“This week?”  Rossi was surprised.  “How much money do you lose?”

“How much is the comfort of our friends worth?”  Tomás replied.  “You’ll need five singles?”

“Yes.”  Hotch replied.  “At your usual rate, of course.”

“I’ll have it set up.”  Tomás pulled out his phone.

“Is the party tonight?”  Alice asked.

“Yes.”  Tomás replied.  “I didn’t know if or when you were coming back and I...”  A sadness crossed his face.

She smiled.  “You wanted to hold a wake.”

“Something like that.”

“I’m honored.  And grateful that it’s not, although I won’t be attending.  I just can’t...”  She shivered slightly.

“Of course.”  Tomás nodded.  Morgan could see it, there had to be a lot of PTSD there. 

“Is the library set aside for overflow again this year?”  Alice asked

“Yes.” 

“Reserve if and the conference room for our private use.  We can use them as a parlor and dining room away from the gathering.”  She smiled at Hotch.  “I’m sure the FBI would appreciate it as well.”

“Yes, thank you.”  Hotch replied.

Morgan’s phone rang.  “So what did the doctor say?”  Garcia asked.

“I don’t need surgery.”  Spencer replied.

“Oh thank god!”

“But he does need ongoing treatment, including physical therapy and medication.”  Seaver said to Hotch specifically.  “According to the doctor it should take four to six months to resolve completely.  It shouldn’t keep him out of the field, but he can’t use any backlit personal electronic devices during that time, including computers, phones, tablets....”

“Backlit?”  Garcia asked.

“Yeah.”

“Hmmm, I may be able to work with that.  Let me try a few things and get back to you.”

“Thank you Garcia.”  Spencer said.

“I’ll expect regular reports.”  Hotch said to Spencer.  “I want to make sure everything goes by the book this time.”  But that wasn’t what Hotch was saying.  He was saying he wanted to take care of Spencer the right way this time, and not have what happened after Hankle happen again.  And Spencer knew it and looked utterly grateful.

But talking about Spencer’s eyes made Morgan remember something else.  “Why didn’t you ask for your glasses back in the hospital?”  He asked.

“Because Garcia was shipping my spares out with my go bag.”

“Yeah, but they gave me your personal effects.  They’re in my bag.”

Spencer stared at him in confusion.  “I didn’t have anything personal in captive...”  All of a sudden all of the blood rushed out of his face.

Rossi had moved over to poke through the light briefcase Morgan carried.  “This bag?”  He held up the opaque baggie from the hospital.

All of a sudden Morgan’s stomach sank.  “Yeah.”

“I do believe this is evidence.”  Rossi looked at Alice of all people, who looked down and gave the tiniest nod.

Oh hell.  Morgan groaned.  “They were trying to save his life.”  He said to Hotch.  Mishandling evidence was a capitol sin.  “I didn’t even think...”  He’d been so distracted.

“We should have been there.”  Hotch said, easing his concern.  “The hospital didn’t say anything?”

“No.  I was talking to the doc while they were putting him in the hyperbaric chamber, the nurse came in and said she had Reid’s personal effects, I told her to stick them in my bag.  They’ve been there ever since.”  He looked over at Spencer.  “You didn’t say anything.”

“You said they ran a kit while I was sedated.”  Spencer replied.  “I figured it was all already in evidence.”

Rossi had opened the file, was looking over the different pages.  “The hospital screwed up.”  He said.  “They assumed it was personal when he first arrived and had to remove it for hyperbaric treatment.  When they ran the kit after no one brought it up.”  He showed Hotch that there were two separate reports.

“Did they take pictures?”  Spencer asked.

“No.”  Rossi replied.

Spencer groaned and kind of doubled over a chair.  “All of this and the embarrassment might kill me.”

“We won’t look unless we have to.”  Hotch replied.  “I know how it is.”

“Really?”

“You have no idea where Foyette stabbed me.”

“Not even close.”  Rossi replied.  “We’d know.  Come on.”  He said to Spencer.  “Let’s go get this over with.”

* * *

 

Thankfully it was over fairly quickly.  The bag was properly entered into evidence and the paperwork done by the time Rossi, Seaver and Spencer returned.  “I put a sheet of paper over the pictures.”  Rossi said as he turned over the file.  “I don’t know about you two but if I can reach the end of my life without seeing any more of Reid’s...”

“Huh?”  Morgan took a look, carefully not lifting the sheet of paper stapled over the pictures.  The report had been amended to note two wounds, each between a quarter and a half inch long, on either side of his... “Did they?”  He made a gesture.

“Yeah, they did.”  Rossi nodded at the looks on the faces of the others.   “The initial ER team in Oregon though he had it for fun.”

“Reid?”  Hotch asked.

“They don’t know him like we do.”

 “But he’ll be okay, right?”  Morgan asked.

“It’s a fairly small wound, according to the doc it should be all right until we return to DC.  Then he’ll have to have it dealt with.  In the meantime they put him on antibiotics and sent him home with bandages.”  Rossi replied with a smile.  The smile was short lived.  “No, he’s not ready to talk about it yet.”

“I don’t blame him.”

Morgan thought he was going to have nightmares just thinking about that one.  He looked over to where Spencer had rejoined Alice.  “Does she know?” 

“I would assume so.  I’ll double check that for the record though.”  Rossi replied.

“Later.”  Hotch said.  “They look exhausted.  Let’s go find this hotel.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the secondary story is up. The secondary chapter to this one tells what happened at the hospital.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**The White Swan Inn  
San Francisco, CA**

**Morgan**

Morgan had to admit, the hotel was a nice place.  It was also a lot busier than he had expected. 

The main lobby was oddly shaped, fairly small and done in something close to a pre-WW II British vibe, dark wood and floral prints and vintage posters.  To the immediate right as they walked in was a small, manned reception desk, with what looked to be an office behind it.  Going around the room counter-clockwise there were stairs going up and a small elevator, one set of double French doors with a _reserved_ sign hanging from them, another with a _closed_ sign, a fireplace which was merrily crackling against the foggy chill outside, a small hall labeled _restrooms_ and a set of open double doors that looked to lead into a small lounge that was doing a brisk business.  Tomás led Hotch over to the reception desk to handle the paperwork.  Rossi was immediately hailed by someone heading into the lounge, apparently an old friend.  And Alice just stood there, looking at the lounge, exhaustion and sadness and perhaps longing on her face.  “Everything all right?”  Spencer asked her.

“I should be downstairs playing hostess.”  She said.  Then she shook her head and moved to the reserved room.  “I just can’t...”

“Everyone will understand.”  Joey said to her.  “There’s always next year.  We can come back from DC, right?”

“Of course we can.”  She said to him as they moved into the room.

Morgan and Seaver followed.  The room beyond was a small library, same dark British vintage feel, walls lined in leather bound books, small fireplace, comfortable chairs and couches.  “So, this is set aside for...us?”  Seaver asked.

“Unless you’d like to join the party.”  Alice waved a hand in the direction of the lounge as she sank into the overstuffed couch.  “Feel free to have a look around if you like.  Room keys should be available shortly I’m sure.”

Joey took a polite stance at her elbow.  “Can I get you anything Miss Alice?” 

“Tea.  My usual, please.”  She said without hesitation.  She looked over at Spencer who was already looking over the shelves.  “And start a pot of coffee going in the café.  Ask Cook if the kitchen can manage a light supper for everyone on top of the party.  If not bring the take-out menus.”

“Yes Miss.”  Joey grinned and seemed to almost skip as he left the room.

“Look around?”  Seaver asked.

“Nah.”  Morgan replied.  These were not bad people, Alice and her crew, and Rossi was solid of course.  But this was the sort of thing his cousin Cindi had been into before she picked up a stalker, and Joey had picked up a stalker, and now his sensitivity for potential bad was wired way too high to be among people who were likely just having a very strange sort of fun.  “I’m going to keep an eye on Reid tonight.”

“Okay.  I’m going to go catch up with Dave then.”

“Okay.”  Morgan watched Seaver head over to the lounge where Rossi had gone, then shut the door for privacy.  This was a nice, quiet, comfortable sort of living room where they could all hang out and wind down before heading up to bed.  He could do this.  But speaking of Spencer.  “You call your Mom yet?”

“No.”  Spencer frowned.  “I haven’t had time.  Which laptop can I use?”

“Mine.”  Morgan went digging for it.  “Aren’t you supposed to avoid screens?”

“I won’t be on it that long.  And I have glasses that are supposed to help.”

“You can use the conference room if you like.”  Alice indicated a door off to the side.  “Or the café.  It’s closed right now, should be fairly quiet in there.  Make yourselves at home.”

The door in the library led to a small conference room, big table, chairs, done in the same vintage idea as the rest of the hotel, but otherwise nothing fancy.  The windows, and a door opposite the one to the library, led to the room that had been marked _closed_.  It turned out to be a small restaurant space, set up for a self-serve breakfast buffet.   At the far end there was a door into the kitchen, which was open, and beyond which was busy, but the end by the library was quiet and populated with tables and chairs.  Joey was over at the buffet starting a coffee pot.  “Would you like, I don’t know, tea?  Or decaf?  I know cops...”

“Coffee.”  Morgan, Hotch and Spencer all said together.

Joey grinned at them all.  “Figured.  It’ll be ready in a minute, help yourselves.”

“Thank you.”  Hotch replied.

Hotch moved to the conference table and started shuffling chairs.  “Paperwork?”  Morgan asked.

“Might as well get it done now.”  Hotch replied.  He put the first file box up and started unpacking.

“I’ll help.”  Why not.  It was a comfortable place for it, and Hotch did have a point.  Morgan started in on the other file box.

In the meantime Spencer went to a table in the cafe, and fired up the laptop.  His first call was actually by phone to Bennington.  It sounded like the patients were at dinner, but he organized a call for after.  His second call was to a much more familiar number.  “Hey.”  He said when the video call was answered.

“Hey yourself!”  JJ replied.  “Welcome back!  How are you feeling?”

“Not as bad as I could be.”  Spencer replied.  “I’m hanging in there.  How are you feeling?  How’s the baby?”

“I’m doing all right.  Two kids in the house is a lot more work than one, let me tell you.  Your new godson is doing wonderfully well, but you will have to wait to see him until you get back, I am not waking him up.” 

“I don’t blame you.  Speaking of waking, is Henry still up?”

“He is just tucking into bed, your timing is perfect.”

A few minutes later they heard another voice.  “Spencer!”  Henry cried out.

Spencer beamed.  “Hey Henry!”

Just then Joey stuck his head back in the door.  “Chef made chicken crepes and butternut squash soup for the house dinner tonight.  Would that be all right with some salad?”

“Perfectly.”  Hotch replied.  “Thank you.”

Morgan helped Hotch unpack the paperwork and get it set up while Spencer chatted with Henry and JJ and it looked like Alice was speaking with Joey off and on in the other room.  After a while he realized that Spencer had moved on to the next conversation.  “I’m all right Mom.”  He was saying.

“Why are you wearing those ridiculous glasses?”  Diana Reid asked.  “Are those sunglasses?”

“Um, really bad eyestrain.  The lenses have an amber tint; they’re supposed to help cut the glare from the computer screen.”

“You work too hard....”

Morgan tuned out that conversation as well, until he sensed Spencer moving past him to the coffee pot.  “Undercover?”  He asked.

“Rossi and I decided that we had to tell her something.”  Hotch replied.  “We thought the truth would be too upsetting.”

“No, that was quiet effective.  Thank you.  She’s really mad at you now though.”

“That’s all right.”

“Done with your calls?”  Morgan asked.

“One more.”  Spencer replied.  “This is going to be the hard one.”

Morgan wondered, but he didn’t have to wonder for long.  “There you are!”  Alex Blake called out when she saw Spencer on the screen.

Spencer looked at her a moment, looked over at Hotch and Morgan, and then looked back at her once more.  “Hang on.”  He said.  Then he got up and closed the door between the café and the conference room.

“Good choice.”  Was Hotch’s comment.

Morgan nodded his agreement.  He knew Spencer loved his mother, but Diana was not well and at times like these sometimes you just needed a “mother” you could talk to.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**The White Swan Inn  
San Francisco, CA**

**Morgan**

After phone calls a tasty dinner happened, thankfully served by an employee and not any kind of submissive or slave.  Morgan and Hotch continued to work on paperwork while Spencer and Alice retreated to the library to curl up in front of the fire with books.  Little brother was still in recovery mode, Morgan thought, a few nights, or even weeks, off would not do him any harm.

Sometime later Morgan caught sight of Joey motioning him over from the library door.  The kid had been in and out, checking on Alice and by extension Spencer on a regular basis.  Now Morgan headed for the library and found their two injured birds on the sofa, heads back, legs up, snoring lightly.  “I should probably get him to bed.”  He said.

“I know I should get her to bed.”  Joey replied.

“Do you know what rooms we have?”  Not a clue where Spencer put his key.  And Morgan was not frisking him to find it.  The front desk had to have multiple copies.

“Miss Alice said Dr. Reid was staying in her room tonight.”

Morgan should have expected that.  “Which room is that?”

“Five A.  I believe Tomás said you’re all on the second floor.”

That wasn’t going to work.  Spencer couldn’t carry right now and they didn’t have the Unsubs in custody and better safe than sorry.  “Any rooms free on the fifth?”

“No, those are our private apartments and some office space.  But, um, Miss Alice does have a very comfortable couch.  I doubt she would mind.”

“Hope not.”  Morgan went and told Hotch what he was doing, bid him good night, and helped get Spencer and Alice up and moving.  He and Joey gathered up bags and then took a ride on the old cage style elevator to the fifth floor.  Private apartment turned out to be accurate; Alice had a small living room and a separate bedroom and bath.  With sleepy waves Spencer and Alice retreated to the bedroom and Morgan got comfortable on the couch. 

His little brother was safe with his lady.  He had no reason to complain at all.

______

Too early the next morning Morgan awoke to sunshine and a pillow hitting him in the chest.  “Why are you here?”  Spencer asked.

“You can’t carry.”  It was still foggy out there.  How early was it anyway?  Too early.  Way too early.  Morgan closed his eyes again.

“No one is going to bother us here.  Go away.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m willing to take the risk.  Go away.”

Okay, what the hell.  Morgan opened his eyes once more and sat up to look at his little brother.  He was in likely pajamas, his hair on end.  “Why do you want me gone anyway?”

Spencer sighed noisily.  “To use language you would understand I can’t...get my game on with you here.”

Seriously?  Seriously?  Now Derek Morgan knew what it meant to cope with the aftermath of rape, and having to question your sexuality and needing to prove to yourself that you weren’t utterly broken.  If Spencer wanted to go there Morgan was not going to say a word.  But they were all adults here, and safety trumped healing, at least for now.  So he reached down, picked up his noise canceling headphones and deliberately put them on.  Spencer sagged, sighed, and retreated to the bedroom

Of course with the headphones on Morgan couldn’t hear anyone coming in the apartment, so he took them off as soon as the bedroom door closed.  And he very deliberately ignored the sounds coming from the bedroom not too much time later.  He was just glad to know that at least in this matter his little brother had come through all right.

* * *

 

Turned out little brother was doing even better later in the morning.

* * *

 

And doing just fine after Morgan left an agent from the local field office on guard duty outside the apartment door, went for a run, and came back to collect his bag.

* * *

 

As he exited the elevator after his shower Morgan was nearly run over by Joey, his arms loaded down with shopping bags.   “What the...”

Joey shook his head as the doors closed.  “I have no idea.”

They still had reserved use of the library and conference room.  The café was open; it looked like the party from last night had moved in to the sunny, cozy space.  Didn’t mean they were having sex on the tables, people were behaving themselves, but Morgan saw a lot of leather and collars and such around.  Most people were having breakfast from the buffet.  Looked like the team was as well but they were eating in the conference room.  He also saw that the fog was starting to burn off; hopefully they would be heading out this afternoon.

Morgan looked up from the coffee pot as Spencer came in.  He looked better than he had yesterday, less anxious or something, more comfortable in his skin, kind of taller.  Maybe even a little glowy.  Morgan could guess why.  But there was something there than concerned him.  “’Morning.”  He said.  “How did you sleep?”

“Good morning.”  Spencer replied.  He made a bee line for the coffee pot, and started adding the usual amount of sugar.  “Quite well, actually.  Thank you for standing guard last night.”

“No problem.  Look, can we talk for a minute?”  Spencer nodded, and Morgan took him off to the quiet of the library.  “Okay, look, I might be talking out of turn here, but...”

“No, it’s all right.”

Morgan took a deep breath.  “Okay, I used to have a kind of a reputation with the ladies...”

Spencer grinned.  “Kind of?”

Yeah, he had a point.  “All right, all right.  The point is I realized I was chasing all those women because I was trying to prove to...to the guys back on the block, or maybe to the universe, or something that Buford didn’t break me.  That I was just as much a man as anyone else, and I could prove that by getting any woman I wanted.  Now I didn’t mess up too much doing that, but I lost a lot of years in a very cold place.  You know, you really don’t have anything to prove here...”

Spencer stopped him there.  “I know, I don’t.  I appreciate the advice, I truly do, but I think there are enough differences in this situation to make it not apply.”

“How so?”  Morgan was kind of curious and it was good to get Spencer talking about it.

“Well, for one thing I’m an adult, not a child.  That changes the nature of the experience.”

“True.”  Physical development alone would change things.

“For another I was relatively secure in my sexuality before this happened.  Someone pubescent or pre-pubescent is naturally likely to still be at the point of questioning that, it’s part of human development at that age.”

“Also true.”  Morgan had to think that he would be a lot less confused now than he had been there.

“But most importantly...we’re with the BAU.  I mean, most civilians would be confused by any encounter with an Unsub, especially one that...intimate and that went on that long.  But I had victimology down in the first hour, I knew this had nothing to do with me.  Unsubs are just...”

“Yeah, I can see it.  Professional detachment.”’

“Exactly.  Pacify the Unsub, hold out until the team gets there or you see an opening to escape and try not to let it get personal.  It never did.”

“Never?”  Morgan just had to be sure.

“No.  It was like riding a roller coaster.  Maybe twenty percent of each encounter was...interesting, let’s put it that way.”

“Interesting?”

“Adult body.  It happens.  Eighty percent was...painful, humiliating, terrifying or some combination of all three.  But when the...the ride was over it was _over_.  There was no lingering emotional trauma.  I was just glad it was over, at least for a while.  So yeah, last night was not about proving or disproving anything that had to do with the Usub.”

“So what was it about?”  Morgan was willing to admit that he might have been off-base, but getting his little brother talking was still a good idea.

“Well, without getting in to a lot of detail part of it was actually recommended by the doctor I saw yesterday.”

“Yeah, spare the details.”

“And part of it was...”  Okay, now they were getting in to personal stuff.  “...Alice is a civilian.  What happened...hurt her a great deal.  She needed help...finding a path I guess.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah.  I don’t know if it helped.”  He looked up in the direction of their rooms.  Alice still hadn’t come down.  “I think it helped.  I hope it helped.”

“That’s not all it was though.”  Spencer’s microexpressions were giving him away.  He wanted to talk about _something_.

Spencer sighed and thought a moment.  “I’ve always suspected...I mean Lila was the first indication and then Maeve hinted at...and after what happened with Alice in captivity...I had a theory that it would be very different with women.”

“Different...”  Wait a minute.  “Did you have any experience with that before?”

Spencer took a deep breath, and gave it up.  “No.”

Holy hell, little brother had been a virgin.  If it happened with an Unsub it didn’t count, but from what Morgan had heard through the walls this morning...  “Oh I could have told you that.”  Morgan couldn’t help grinning.  “It is _so_ different with women.”

“Yeah, I know that _now_.”  Spencer was grinning too.  “I mean, if that was a roller coaster than this is....is...now I know why poets write volumes trying to quantify this.  IQ of 187 and I cannot find words.”

“Now you know.”  This explained why little brother was glowing this morning.  Morgan was laughing.  “Now you know.”

“I _know_.  My theory was entirely correct.”  Spencer was laughing with him.  Shared laughter was a good way to help start healing.  He lifted his coffee cup, likely to hide the blush he had going with it.  “And besides, she asked so nicely.”

“Oh, now you’re done for.”  Morgan couldn’t stop chuckling.  “Once they start asking you can’t say no.  You’re done, it’s all over.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”  But little brother was not complaining.  “I’m not better.”  Spencer said.  “I need to see a doctor when we get back and I know I need a psych eval and I’m going to have nightmares for a while but...I’m a lot better than I was yesterday.”

Morgan nodded.  “Now that I believe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter has no less than three graphic scenes attached, all of the consensual and loving sort, which will be published over the next few days over at the outtake story.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**The White Swan Inn  
San Francisco, CA**

**Morgan**

“Now you said Alice needed help finding a path.”  Morgan asked.

This was clearly more personal for Spencer.  “She...she was in an accident when she was younger.”

“Is she all right?”

“Yes.  She can function without issue, but she does have some pretty bad scarring.”  Spencer shrugged.  “I understand some men would find that distasteful but it doesn’t bother me.  But as a result of that she’s...from the way she’s described it she’s always felt very detached from the world around her.  She’s created an impressive...life for the people she loves, surrounded them in...”  He gestured to the elegant hotel around them.  “...beauty and given them...amazing experiences but she’s never really...taken part.”  Morgan thought Spencer was talking about something more than living in a hotel.  “She’s always been an outside observer, taking pleasure from...watching the people she loves enjoy themselves.  The Unsubs ruined her ability to enjoy that anymore.”

“Watching.”  All of a sudden Morgan realized what Spencer was getting at.  “Ahhh.  The Unsub set this whole thing up to punish her for taking Joey away.”

“As well as to lock his crew in place and to provide his own victims, yes.”

“But she couldn’t anymore.”  Likely not, not without serious PTSD issues.  “So you suggested she...participate.”

“Yeah.  She was afraid her medical issues would...get in the way of participation.  And like I said, most guys are turned off by scars of that sort.”

“But you’re not.”

“How someone looks never mattered to me.”

“Well, from what I heard she was participating just fine this morning.”  Morgan grinned.

The smile Spencer gave his coffee was both shy and proud.  “The experiment was entirely successful, yes.”

“That’s what we’re calling it these days.”

“Ahem.”  Spencer shook it off.  “I was concerned when I realized that she has nothing but black pants and grey t-shirts in her wardrobe, both designed to cover all of the scarring.  Dressing to hide one’s self is indicative of fairly serious body dysmorpia.  But then she sent Joey out to run errands for her, so I don’t know....”

“You can’t fix everything all at once.  Hell, you can’t even expect to fix everything.  You both need to see a shrink.”  Morgan said.

“Yeah, I know.”  Something caught Spencer’s eye, and his jaw dropped.

Morgan looked after him.  Now it wasn’t like Alice had gone from covering everything up in don’t-look-at-me clothes to prancing around in a strapless mini-dress.  But instead of black, loose pants she’d gone with something dark red, with a better fit, and instead of the loose, grey t-shirt hooked over her thumbs and tight to her neck she’d pulled on a lacy white tunic thing.  One that didn’t quite cover all of the scars.  Morgan could see them, just a little, over her collarbone and creeping upper her left arm.  But he only glanced there.  What mattered more was her affect, shy and nervous, and quite brave, clearly this was a big step for her.  Until she saw Spencer.  Then there was nothing but love.  “Yep, I’d say you started something.”  He said to Spencer.

“I guess so.”   Spencer replied.  “Excuse me.”  He said, as he moved to Alice’s side.

Morgan left them to talk and moved to the conference table with the rest of the team.  “It makes so much more sense now.”  Seaver was saying to Hotch.  “It is about control, but not what you would think.”

“Oh?”  Hard to tell if Hotch was actually interested or just having a teaching moment.  “How so?”

“The common perception of BDSM is that it’s about a Dominant taking control of someone and making them their submissive.  But that’s not really the case.  The submissives are really the ones who have all the control, they decide who they submit to, and when and what they do and all of it.  They give up control, it’s not taken, and they can take it back at a word or a gesture.  This whole community is about making a safe space for them to give up that control, and helping people who love them learn how to accept it from them and give them what they want safely.”

“So you’re saying there are no users or freaks out there.”  Morgan didn’t buy that.

“From what I could tell the users are weeded out very quickly.”  Seaver replied.  “If by freaks you mean people with paraphillias, there are lots of them.  Another part of this is to make a safe space where they can be accepted.  It’s also about making a safe, accepting place for people with all kinds of bodies or all kinds of sexuality.  But even that is part of it, it’s about making a safe space for the vulnerable, _not_ about making a place where the strong can lord it over people.”

“Very good, young padwan.”  Rossi said.  “That’s the part these Unsubs missed.  They were kicked out of the community up north because the community decided they weren’t safe.  So they created their own little club which they thought was replicating what really happens, but they had it entirely wrong.  They just didn't know how wrong.”

“No.”  Hotch replied.  “They knew.  They knew the minute they decided to kill their victims when they were done with them.”

“There is that.”

* * *

 

Right after breakfast Hotch got the call they were hoping for.  The fog had lifted and the airport was open.

So they flew home to DC.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Woodley Park Guest House  
Washington DC**

**Morgan**

“You sure about this?”  Morgan asked.

Once they landed in DC he’d expected to take Spencer off to his apartment while Rossi took Alice to her hotel.  As it turned out Spencer was staying at said hotel with Alice.  “Am I certain about what?”  Spencer asked.

“Are you or are you not moving in with her?”

“Temporarily yes.  Perhaps permanently, we’re giving it a few months to see what happens after some therapy.”

Which was not the ideal flat out no Morgan wanted, but better than a flat out yes.  “A few months?”

“Until my lease is up.  It would cost too much to get out of it right now so I’m keeping my place.  But right now I do want to stay with Alice.”

“Fair enough.”  Should this relationship fall apart after some therapy Spencer would have a place to land.  That worked.

Of course when they pulled up Morgan saw the For Sale sign out front.  “Is she buying this place?”  He asked.

“She’s considering it.”  Spencer replied.

“You’re going to live in a hotel?”

“Why not?”

Morgan went into a long sales pitch about the value of home ownership, of the stability of a house, of the traditions you could build in one, of having a place where the little geniuses could return to someday.  While he was doing that he helped them bring in bags, waited through check in, and walked with them to the top floor.  “So you need a house.”  Morgan finally finished up.

“I don’t know how to live in a house.”  Spencer replied.

Morgan stopped.  “What do you mean you don’t know how to live in a house?”

“Morgan.”  Spencer sighed.  “How long were you in college?”

“Four years.”

“And how old were you when you went?”

“Eighteen.”

“I was in school for ten years straight, nine of those in college and one at Quantico.  I lived in an institutional setting from when I was twelve until I was twenty-two.  Before that I had to look after myself and my mother with no instruction and no training.  I just don’t seem to know how to do things other people do.  But I manage.  I like my life, okay, I’m happy but I’m not house friendly.”

“What do you mean not house friendly?”

“I don’t know how to cook Morgan.  I don’t know how to do laundry, I don’t know how to load a dishwasher, I don’t know how to do household repairs....”

Huh?  “Then how do you live?”

“I live in a very nice building in single room with a bathroom that doesn’t come with a kitchen, kind of a lot like a dorm room.  I have a microwave, a toaster oven, a bar fridge and a coffee pot, if I can’t do it with those then it’s either take out or eat out.  Dad set us up with laundry service when Mom got too sick to manage it.  Ever since then I put my laundry in bags, they get picked up once a week and the next day I have clean clothes waiting at the front desk.  I wash my coffee cups in my bathroom sink.  If something needs repair I call the front desk and they send up a repair man.  I live in a dorm, more or less.  Which means I practically live in a hotel already; only this one comes with a much nicer garden and a chef.”

Morgan was kind of shocked.  “I had no idea.  And Alice...”

“Alice was in and out of the hospital between the ages of seven and twelve, then she went off to boarding school until she was eighteen and then college.  She’s also more comfortable in an institutional setting.”

While they were talking the clerk had been showing Alice around the empty third floor.  Now she returned to the room they had rented.  “This is a very nice set-up.”  She said.  “We could make some comfortable living spaces up here.”

“It’s a good neighborhood and close to a Metro line.”  Spencer replied.  “That would be helpful.  What do you mean could?”

“Tomás wants a house.  He swears he will help us learn to live in one.”

Morgan nearly fell over laughing.  “Going to put a dungeon in?”  He was only half-teasing there.

“Here?  I don’t think so.”  Alice replied.  “This is actually one of two properties they’re trying to sell together.  The other one is off Dupont Circle, which looks to be closer to the nightclubs and such.  I think we’ll put the dungeon there and keep this one vanilla.”

“Probably better for this neighborhood.”  Spencer agreed.

“As for the house, not for me.”  She shuddered delicately.  “That will be up to him.  Now I won’t say final decision yet, but...”

Just then Morgan’s phone went off.  “We need to head in to the office.”  He said.  “They found something in Oregon.”

* * *

 

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

It was a video conference call.  Spencer kept his eyes shut for most of it.

Sheriff Johnson was standing next to a tall man with pure white hair wearing civilian hunting clothes.  “This here is Frank Underwood.”  He said, by way of an introduction.

“I am a civilian.”  Frank said, in ponderous, pedantic tones.  “My actions today were of my own free choice.  I was not under any sort of order or request from any law enforcement agency.”

“Okay.”  Rossi said.  The tone, body language and smile indicated that those words were lies, and that Frank and the Sheriff knew it.  They were making those lies official record.  “You know, you look familiar to me.”

Frank grinned.  “I should.  We worked together on the Grim Sleeper case.”

“The Grim Sleeper?”  Hotch asked.  “That was in Los Angeles.”

“Yep.”  Frank replied.  “I was on the police force there.  Forty-two years.   I retired ten years ago.  Moved up here for the fishing.”

“Oh really.”  Rossi said.  “As I recall you ran search dogs back then.”

“I still do.”  Frank replied.  “I train the volunteer K9 unit for Manzanita County Search and Rescue nowadays.  So there I was early this morning.”  He launched into his story.  “I heard the fire had burned out along the river and I wanted to go check on my favorite fishing hole.  It was a mess, let me tell you.  I don’t know when I’m going to be able to fish there again.  I brought my dogs with me of course, George and Gracie, in case of bears or wild cats. They went off to sniff around while I checked out the river.  Imagine my surprise when they came back and jump spotted me.”

“What are your dogs trained to spot on?”  Morgan asked.

“Human remains.”  Frank replied.  “I didn’t know why they would be spotting out there, the news didn’t say anything about anyone missing in the fire.  I followed them to the foundation of this house out by the river and lo and behold, I spotted a body!  I didn’t know what to do!”  Frank’s acting skills were lacking here.  “The batteries in my GPS were dead so I didn’t know which jurisdiction I was in.  So I called my good friend Sheriff Johnson to ask him for advice.”

“Of course you did.”  Rossi said.  He and Hotch looked at each other and nodded.  It was obvious what had happened.  Knowing Frank’s background and the training on his dogs Sheriff Johnston had asked him to take them out to try to find the bodies.  But because Frank was technically a civilian plausible deniability could be maintained. 

“I was going to call Sheriff Blackburn.  I was pretty sure it was his jurisdiction.”  Sheriff Johnston picked up the tale.  “But I checked the county records first, to see who owned the land, in case it was actually under the Forest Service.  When I found out it was his building I called in the State Police.  They’ve taken control of the crime scene and picked up Blackburn.  When they looked through his home office they found ID’s for all our bodies in his desk drawer, as well as three others.  We figure those were the bodies we found in the cellar, we just need to try to match them.”

“Trophies.”  Rossi nodded.  It was exactly as they had profiled.

“Uh huh.”  Sheriff Johnson smiled.  “They also found this.”  He held up an evidence bag.

In it was a FBI badge.

The team chuckled.  “I’d like to see Cramer deny that.”  Morgan said.

“We have a list of other suspects for you to bring in.”  Hotch said.

Sheriff Johnson nodded.  “We’ll coordinate with the State Police.”  He said.  “If you contact...”

There was no longer any need for Spencer and Alice to stay in the conference.  Morgan kind of faded back with them.  “Does this mean it’s over?”  She asked.

“I hope so.”  Spencer replied.

“Not quite.”  Morgan said.  “You get interviewed tomorrow.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2
> 
> A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.
> 
> \- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

**Chapter 20**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

“Thank you for doing this.”  Spencer said as he settled on the couch.  Rossi had loaned them his office for the day. 

“Sure.  No problem.”  Kate replied.  “I’m just glad JJ was willing to babysit.”

“I think Will is home today.”  Which gave JJ an extra set of hands for three kids, two of them still newborns. 

“That explains it.”

Spencer liked Kate, she had a good head on her shoulders, and her time in Andi’s unit meant that she was unlikely to flinch at the story he had to tell.  But they didn’t really socialize, he wouldn’t have to wonder if she was thinking about that story over a holiday dinner or a crowded after-work pub.  It was the best balance he was going to get.  For himself Spencer felt as ready as he was going to be for this.  Last night he and Alice had loved again until they were both satiated and wrapped in the warmth only love could bring.  He had that sense memory to carry with him today.  “Are you ready?”  He asked.

“Are you?”  She replied.

“I don’t...”  He took a deep breath.  This was going to be a hard one, even with the memory to keep him warm.

“Just start at the beginning.”  She said.  “What happened first?”

“PTSD”

* * *

 

**There**

**Then**

Spencer did not expect to wake sitting up in a chair.

The case had been a difficult one.  They had been finding bodies of young men, all with different signs of sexual abuse, some with mutilation, all eventually strangled to death and left in the woods around Southern Oregon.  Law enforcement had an unusual relationship out here, lots of coordination between the different agencies, including the sheriffs of different counties.  But there was one who was not working with them as well as the others, who was not comfortable with them present, who had not had a body left in his jurisdiction.  They were beginning to suspect he was hiding something.  Perhaps the Unsub was a relative of some kind.  Whatever it was it was slowing them down.

And the weather had not been helping.  It was hot out, well in to the triple digits, and bone dry out there.  Too long in the field and hot weather and interagency frustration all combined to exhaust them, or at least to exhaust him.  Spencer had gone back to his room that night, had a quick shower, pulled on his pajamas, removed his contacts, downed a bottle of water against the dryness and gone to bed where he passed out immediately.

At least he thought he had.

But he woke sitting up in a chair, with a swimmy head that spoke of some kind of drug.  When he went to rub his eyes and try to stretch it out he realized he was cuffed.

The adrenalin burned off the last of whatever they had given him.

“Good morning Agent...Doctor...Reid.”  A sarcastic voice snipped too close for comfort.  “Welcome to our little party pad.”

Who?  Wait...”I know you.”  Spencer said.  That voice was familiar.

“Sure you do.  What you don’t know is how to mind your manners.”  The voice was suddenly closer, right in his ear.  “Do you have any idea how rude it is to insult your host by making him look bad?  And in front of his own men no less.”

“What?”  When had he insulted someone?

“Sheriff Blackburn is very upset with you.”  The voice went on.  All of a sudden this started making sense, why the Sheriff had been less than helpful, why it seemed like they needed more than one Unsub to make it all work.  “But the rest of your team has been trying their level best to catch the bad guy.  He’s been impressed with the work they do, especially that Hotchner fellow.  So he decided to teach you a lesson and do them a favor at the same time.  After all, if a junkie faggot runs out on a case, well, that’s pretty much out of a job right there.  No need to come up with a fancy reason for it.”

Oh hell.  “I am not a homosexual.”   Not that there was anything wrong with it, Spencer just knew he liked girls.

“Bullshit.  About as much bullshit as this eight year chit in your wallet.”

“Eight years, six months, eleven days.”  Spencer knew exactly how long he’d been clean, thanks.

“Once a junkie, always a junkie.”  The voice had been slowly pacing behind him all this time.  “Now here’s how this works, you play along, don’t fight too hard and when we’re finished having our fun we let you go...”’

“No you don’t.”  Come on, Spencer thought, he’d seen the bodies.

The pacing stopped a moment.  “No, we don’t.”  Spencer could hear the smile in the man’s voice.  “See, usually we bring you faggots in in pairs.  That way when one of you fights...”  Someone grabbed Spencer’s shoulder, shoved a hand down the front of his shirt and caressed his chest.  A sense memory tickled at the back of his mind, tried to force it’s way in and he flinched away.  “...we can make it worse for the other one.  But your boy, or more likely Daddy, is likely hidden away back in DC, back in the closet somewhere, so we’ll just have to use someone else.  We figure, FBI, any civilian will do.  Right Queenie?”

Spencer’s eyes widened as Maeve Donovan was pushed into the chair opposite him, a gun pointed at her head.

* * *

 

“Maeve Donovan?”  Kate asked.  “She was your girlfriend, wasn’t she?”

Spencer took a deep breath.  Even though he loved Alice very much he loved Maeve too, and remembering the one time he’d seen her still hurt.  “Diane Turner made us sit in chairs opposite us while she psychologically tortured us at gunpoint.  The situation was so similar, and Alice and Maeve have similar coloring and I didn’t have my glasses...”

“You had a flashback.”

“I totally had a flashback.”

“It’s understandable.  What happened?”

“I agreed not to fight them.  I think I lost right there.”

* * *

 

It was Maeve.  It was Maeve, it had to be Maeve.  That female shaped blur of pale skin and dark hair, that had to be Maeve.  That was Diane who had her hands down his shirt.  That was Diane’s gun.  It was Maeve and he had another chance.  “Don’t hurt her.”  He said, so very quietly.

“Then don’t make us.”  The voice said.  Wait, was that Diane?  He watched a hand reach down and over her shirt and the figure shuddered.  But that hand, that arm, was that a uniform.  “You behave and we’ll leave her alone, got it?”

“Just don’t hurt her.”  He couldn’t risk her dying again.  Whatever it took.

“We have an understanding then.”  That hand wandered down his shirt again but this time he forced himself not to flinch away.   Better him than her.  “You learn quick Agent Doctor.”  Whoever it was pulled Maeve away.  Spencer tried to go after her but he was attached to the chair...  “Sit down.”  The voice said as a heavy hand pushed him back in.  “We want to see what that mouth can do.”

* * *

 

Spencer went on to relay what happened that first day in all the embarrassing, necessary detail.  “There was no ...other rape that first day?”  Kate asked, her manner warm, but professional.

It was exactly how Spencer had hoped she would be, not cold but with enough professional distance to give him the space he needed here.  “No.  I was told later that the one called Doc had taken blood to test for STD’s.  They, um, didn’t go there until they knew I was clean.”

“Nice guys.  So what happened after?”

“I was sent back to the holding cell.”

* * *

 

This place was a maze.  Spencer had no clue where he was in relation to the room where he had started, or to the outside.  He had yet to smell fresh air or see sunlight.  At the moment he could barely stand, his head ached and his jaw ached and his stomach was churning to the point where he was dizzy.  They dragged him to one more door, which was opened, and then he was pushed into land on his knees.

The door locked behind him.

All Spencer knew was that he was going to be sick.

He could feel himself starting to heave.  Before he could even see the room he was in he was lifted by a new set of hands and taken to another, one with brighter lighting.  There he was pressed to his knees before a clean enough toilet, and just in time.

When he was done gentle, warm hands lifted his head and held it for him.  A warm, damp towel was pressed to his face to help him clean up, and then a bottle of water appeared at his lips.  “Rinse first.”  A soft, female voice said.

He did, and then drank, which did not help much but the burn of bile was better than what had come before.  “Who are you?”  He asked, even as he leaned into that touch, so gentle and warm.

“I’m Alice.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**There**

**Then**

"I don't know what's up with her." Jack said.

As soon as Spencer had recovered from being very sick and was starting to bandage up wrists battered and torn from fighting handcuffs a man had come in to the bathroom, pushed Alice out of the way, and took over his care. Jack was on the older side of the Unsub's preferred range, all of twenty-five, had been missing for nearly a month with his lover Michael, and so far seemed to be untouched. "I've been playing along." Jack said. "The fabulous flaming faggot. It's been entertaining them enough that they haven't done anything permanent. So far."

Unfortunately not all of the men trapped in there with them were so lucky. One was tucked into the corner, rocking back and forth, his arms around his knees. "Scotty came here the week after I did with his boyfriend." Jack said. "When Connor didn't come back one day Scotty lost it. He cries every time they drag him out there. They don't care."

"They don't call them nervous breakdowns anymore." Spencer said.

"Yeah, well, there it is. And Lou here..." The second young man looked up. His body was covered with overlapping tattoos, some raw enough to scar. "..he's going to have a hell of a time removing all those tats."

Spencer looked closer. Four letter words, the kinds of drawings you'd find on a bathroom wall, all of it crude and ugly. "They're using plain black ink." He said. "That's the easiest to remove with a laser." But Lou was going to need so much work to get the Unsubs off his skin it might be impossible.

Jack took a deep breath. "And then there's what they're doing to Mikey." He said. He knelt by his lover who was asleep on a mattress, and pulled back the blanket...

* * *

 

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

"They were injecting him with what?" Kate asked.

"Synthol " Spencer said. "It's a site enhancement oil, commonly used by body builders to balance out form by filling in over an underdeveloped muscle. Synthol is made up of 85% of a medium-chain oil, like coconut oil, 7.55 lidocane to numb the injection site and 7.5 alchohol to sterilize the mixture. The theory is that it stretches and irritates the tissue, forcing the body to grow more tissue to compensate."

"Does it work?" Okay, even Kate was a little disturbed by this.

"It can, but it also reduces oxygen flow to the area. He ended up with gangrene that turned septic." Spencer sighed. "Garroting likely spared him a longer, more painful death."

"God. Poor kid." Kate shook her head. "Okay, you met the guys. What happened next?"

* * *

 

"I don't know what's up with her." Jack said. "She was here when I got here. She claims she's been here since March."

The room they were in also housed the main utilities for the building, a large furnace, a water heater, various other large chunks of machinery. They had been given what looked like futon mattresses on the floor for beds, enough bedding to stay reasonably warm, and clothing in the form of sweatpants and t-shirts, likely bought in bulk. Meals looked to be MRE's, and there was water from a sink in the corner as well as from the small bathroom. They even had a small washer and dryer. Granted all of this were nothing more than shaped blurs to Spencer, the lack of glasses was not helping his headache. "What are they doing to her?" He asked.

"That's just it, nothing." Jack replied. "They drag her out, they bring her back, she's never hurt, she's never in the dungeons with the rest of us. It's weird man."

Spencer watched the female-shaped blur taking things out of the dryer and folding them. The space was big enough that there were separate nooks here and there. It was clear she was sleeping away from the others. "Have you tried asking her about it?"

"Nah. I don't trust her."

"One thing I've learned is that the odd man out can tell you a lot about a situation." With that Spencer eased around the furnace, came up next to Alice, and started folding...ah, towels with her.

"Thanks." She said after a long moment. "You're not afraid of me?"

"Should I be?"

"No. I'm not colluding with Blackburn anyway. I think Jack suspects that I am."

"I think you're right. So why are you here?"

"Because I took something away from Blackburn. This is how he's punishing me."

"What did you take from him?"

* * *

 

"That was when I first heard the story about Joey Bauer." Spencer said.

"Got it." Kate nodded. "So Blackburn was punishing her by keeping her prisoner and making her look after the other victims?"

"Not exactly. But I didn't find out what he was doing until later."

* * *

 

"You're an FBI agent?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. They drugged me to get me here."

"So they'll come looking for you?"

"They will. My team won't give up until they find me."

"I hope they find you quickly." She said. He thought she was looking over in the direction of the others. "I don't want to watch them kill another one."

* * *

 

"They made her watch the murders?" Kate asked.

"They made her watch everything."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

“She’s dealing with a case of courtship disorder.  According to the courtship disorder hypothesis, there is a species-typical courtship process in humans consisting of four phases. These phases are one, looking for and appraising potential sexual partners; two, pretactile interaction with those partners, such as by smiling at and talking to them; three, tactile interaction with them, such as by embracing or petting; and then four, sexual intercourse.  The associations between these phases and these paraphilias were first outlined by Kurt Freund, the originator of the theory: A disturbance of the search phase of courtship manifests as voyeurism or as in her case troilism.” 

“Troilism?”  Kate asked.

“Watching your lover or intimate partner have sexual relations with a third party.  In her case with the consent of the third party.”

“So what disturbed her search phase?”

“A fairly severe burn injury she suffered when she was a child.  She healed well but with extensive scarring.  Add in that in her class group women are expected to be nearly flawless, even plastic surgery among teen-agers is common.”

“Chicks dig scars, guys do not.  Especially rich guys.”  Kate nodded.  “I get it.  Don’t most voyeurs just turn to masturbating to pornography, especially these days?”

“True, and it started there for her.  But her best friend is male and homosexual.  He felt a little sorry for her, having nothing but porn to go on.”

“And he let her watch him and his boyfriend.  There you go.  How does BDSM figure in to all of this?”

“BDSM is about making a safe space for submissives to give up control.  She’s actually a fairly dominant personality, but in the end her friend is submissive, although he acts as what’s known as a switch.  She cared about him enough to make that space for him, and ended up in a community which, unlike the upper class society she was raised in, accepted her even with her scars.”

“And the community knows about her kind.  So Sheriff Blackburn would know that she got off on watching?”

“More like she enjoys helping young men reach their potential, in every sense of the world, and actually derives pleasure from witnessing the process and outcome.  And that includes in the bedroom.  Blackburn was so angry that she took Joey Bauer from him and did what he didn’t that he locked her in there and made her watch as he destroyed all those young men.”  Spencer was quiet for a long moment.  “I know it doesn’t fit the legal definition but it really was a form of rape.”

“And she survived mentally?”

“Barely.  She’s okay at the moment but she is going to need a lot of therapy.”

“I’ll bet.  Okay, so what happened next?”

“For roughly the next forty-eight hours they left me alone.”

“Why?”

“Apparently they were waiting for Blackburn to get Hotch out of the county.”

* * *

 

**There**

**Then**

They heard rough laughter beyond the door.

For two days they had left Spencer alone.  He’d eaten his share of the MRE’s, kept track of the days through the light of the bathroom window, taken their advice and cleaned himself inside and out (“Do you want them to do it?”  Alice has asked) and talked to Alice and Jack as much as possible.  He had a pretty good bead on what was going on and why, and preliminary profiles of all of their Unsubs.  But what he didn’t have was an escape plan.  At least not yet.

Now the three of them, the three that were still healthy, crept to the door to listen through the cracks.  “...I told them back in Quantico that if they can’t control their own people then I sure as hell don’t want them fucking up my investigation.”  Sheriff Blackburn was saying.  “So they called them back to DC.”

“What is he saying?”  Jack said.

“My team is only allowed to operate at the invitation of the local police department.”  Spencer said, a cold knot settling in his stomach.  “If they pull that invitation we have to go back.”

“So they’re not coming for you.”

“No, they will.”  But he wasn’t as sure of that as he had been when Hankle had him or when he was trapped by Benjamin Cyrus.  Too much had happened; politics had gotten in the way too many times.  He was no longer certain what Hotch would do.  But he knew one thing.  “Morgan will.”

“Morgan?”

“Derek Morgan, my partner.”  More or less.  His big brother anyway.  “He can be very stubborn about this sort of thing.”  Morgan was a bulldog.  He might get yelled at when he was back, but Morgan would never leave him behind.  Morgan had never broken trust.

“I hope you’re right.”  Jack said, before he moved away.

“I hope so too.”  Alice said.

They knew the Unsubs would be coming for them, it was only a matter of time.  And likely for him, Spencer thought.  He readied himself, tried to control his breathing, his fear.

They did come for him.  As had happened on previous days the doors burst open.  “Agent doctor!”  The voice called out.  “Your turn to join the party!”  The men were blurs as they came in, grabbed his arms and dragged him out.

Spencer found himself landing in some kind of medical chair, with restraints quickly buckled into place.  “Hello Doctor Reid.”  Sheriff Blackburn drawled.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”  Spencer asked him.

“Yeah.  Took a load off that Agent Hotchner’s hands.  He and that Rossi fellow are good at their jobs, I’ll give you that, and that big black buck of theirs is useful in an animal sort of way.  And they’ve got a couple of real good secretaries going, that Garcia girl is a wonder.  But you, well, I bet he’s just grateful he doesn’t have to deal with the junkie smartass anymore.”

Spencer didn’t say anything.  He didn’t want to antagonize the Sheriff and he wanted to ignore the way his words fed the seed of doubt that had lingered since the Doyle case.  No, that had always lingered, perhaps only Gideon had ever truly been able to reassure him that he wasn’t just a pain in the ass walking computer.  But he was not going to let this Sheriff see his doubts.

“You know what your problem is, boy?  You’re too smart for your own good.  You read too much.  Well we are just going to make it so you can’t get any smarter.”  The Sheriff sat heavily on a stool beside him and reached for something just beyond the chair. 

All of a sudden Spencer heard a loud thump.  “Close your eyes!”  Alice called to him, her voice muffled like she was calling through a wall.  “Close your eyes, tight!  Spencer, close your eyes!”

Spencer shut his eyes as tightly as he could.

A moment later what felt like needle sharp claws raked at his face.  He howled in agony as they shot deeply into his eyes.

* * *

 

“It’s called a violet wand”   Spencer said.  “They are used for the application of low current, high voltage high-frequency electricity to the body.  This creates a spark that causes a sharp pain to the body.”

“But it’s bad around the eyes?”  Kate asked.

“The vitreous humor between the lens and the retina in the human eye is extremely conductive, as is the fluid around the eye itself.  If the violet wand directly sparks the eye it can cause burning on the lens or irritation that can trigger the formation of cataracts.”

“But by closing your eyes you were able to prevent a direct spark reaching your eyes.”

“Luckily.  There was no guarantee that would work.  As it is the pain of the shock caused pseudomyopia.   Severe but temporary nearsightedness due to spasms in the cillary muscles around the eye.  It’s going to take a few months to resolve.  But at the time I didn’t know that.”

“What did it look like?”

“I actually looked into it, anticipating that question.  Take a picture and put it into Photoshop.”

“Okay.”  Kate picked up her laptop and started fiddling with it.  “Okay, go.”

“Select the blur filter and select lens blur.  Set the iris shape to octagon to most closely resemble the human iris.  Then adjust the radius.  With my glasses I’m about a two to five.  Without I used to be about a twenty-five.  Now I’m at about a hundred.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

They laughed at his pain and they laughed at what was done to him.  The men around him laughed and laughed.  “That ought to fix it.”  The Sheriff said.  “Take him back; the Doc doesn’t have his test results back.  Can’t have real fun with him until tomorrow.”

Rough hands undid his restraints, and Spencer felt himself half dragged, half carried back to the holding cell and tossed in.  He landed on his hands and knees and remained there a long moment.

Jack came over and crouched down beside him.  “You’re still dressed.”  He said.  “What happened?”

Spencer looked up and around him.  What had been blurry but recognizable shapes were now nothing but formless blobs of light.  He couldn’t even tell if anything was in his way anymore.  He couldn’t make out anything.  “I’m blind.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**There**

**Then**

“Blind?”  Jack asked.  He waved his hand in front of Spencer’s face.  Spencer saw a dark blur in front of the light blur.   “Fuck.”

“Not that blind.  It’s not black but everything is so blurry it might as well be.”  Spencer said.  He stood up to try to move...somewhere, but he had to hold his hands out in front of him.  “I can see light and shadow and color, or I could if there was any in here.”  His foot caught on something and he nearly went down.

Thankfully Jack caught him.  “Okay, just hold on here.  What did they do?”

“I don’t know.  Alice yelled at me to close my eyes so I didn’t see anything.  It felt like claws raking my face.”  Spencer leaned on Jack heavily as they started moving, he assumed toward his bed.

“So you have no idea what they did?  I’m telling you, she’s working with them somehow.”

“They used a velvet wand on his face.”  Said that soft, female voice behind him.  Spencer felt her presence on his other side, her arms also going around to help.  “Let’s take him into the bathroom.”

“And closing his eyes was supposed to help with that?’  Jack asked.

“Hopefully closing his eyes kept the arc from actually burning his eyeballs.”

“And that was the best you could do?”

“Yes.”

“I still don’t believe that.”  A soft cry from one of the others called Jack away.

Spencer felt them settle him on the closed toilet seat.  It was brighter in the bathroom, the bare bulb easy to locate.  “It’s not you.”  Spencer said when he sensed that they were along.  “Transference.”

“What?”  Alice asked.  “Tip your head up.”  She gently touched under his chin.

“Transference.  He’s angry at them, but he can’t be angry at them or they’ll take it out on Mikey.  He can’t be angry at the other men because they’re wounded.  You’re relatively healthy and can’t hurt the others.  That makes you a safe target for his anger so he’s transferring it to you.”  He felt her delicate fingers on his eyelids, pulling them open, and then darkness blotted out the light.  “What are you doing?”

“Looking for obvious burns.  I don’t see any.”

But when she got close enough the iris of her eye came into sharp focus.  “Do that again but turn into the light.”  Yes, when she got within about two inches of his eyeball he could focus clearly.  “Myopia.”

“What?”

“I’ve always been nearsighted, I have a clear depth of field from four to six inches away, no more.  I think this shortened that somehow, and made it much worse.  On the plus side it’s treatable.”

“With what we have here?”

What they had there wasn’t much.  “No.  But it shouldn’t get worse.”

“Oh.  What’s the downhill side?”

“I could still have burns too small to see, or I could develop cataracts.”

“We’ll hope not.”  She stepped back, leaving nothing but soft clouds of light around him.  Without thinking he reached out and grabbed her hand.  “You’re going to need help getting around, want me to move your bedroll over with the others?”

“No.  Um, would you be willing to move it next to yours?”

“Next to mine?”

“Yes, Jack has his hands full with the others and, um...I’ve always found women more comforting.”

He swore for a moment he could feel her smile.  “All right then.  Wait here.”

It didn’t take long.  A few minutes later she was leading him out of the bathroom.  “I need to feel the way.”  He said.  “So I know where I’m going and how to get back.”

“All right.”  For the next few minutes she showed him out to ease his way around the space by hugging the walls.  Once he had a good feel for it he dropped onto his bed roll.  “Dinner?”

“Please.”  This was going to suck for a very long time.

* * *

 

The truth was, he was terrified.  “I’ve never done this before.”  He admitted later.

He’d been overtaken with a bout of shivering right around bedtime, which was likely some form of shock.  To help him stay warm Alice had pulled the bedrolls together, tossed the combined blankets over both and nestled quite close to warm him.  “Never done what before?”  She asked.

Now that he said it he wasn’t sure he could tell her.  “Tried to profile blind.”  He said.  “One of my specialties is reading people’s body language and facial expressions.  Now I can’t even see their faces.”

“Does it really matter here?”

“A good profile is the best weapon we have.  That’s what my mentor used to say.  But maybe it doesn’t matter now.”  Maybe all that mattered was the team getting to him, and quickly.  “I’ve never done that either.”  It slipped out before he could think.

“Done what?”

“That...with a woman.  Or with anyone.”

“Oh.  Oh Spencer.”  He could feel her turning to look at him.  She was quiet a long moment.  “You know, neither have I really.”

“Really?”  That was hard to believe.

“Not directly, no.  But I’ve watched a lot of people and...what they’re doing here isn’t anything like that.  Love makes a huge difference.”

“Does it?”

“Yes, it’s enormous.  Add in that you’ll be looking for a woman and these are all men...no matter what happens here you’ll still have that to look forward to.”

“You sound like you believe that.”

“I do.”

They were quiet a long moment more before he admitted... “I do kind of wish I had my teddy bear...”  Because tomorrow was quite likely to be horrible and it might help him sleep just one more night.

“Teddy bear?”

“Um...I...” 

But before he could say anything she was tucking into his arms, pulling him into a hug.  “Best I can do here.”

Oh, that felt lovely.  “The teddy bear thing doesn’t...doesn’t bother you?”  He was a grown man, an FBI agent, but sometimes the nights were so lonely...

“I have a large stuffed hedgehog waiting for me on my pillow.  Good night, Spencer.”

* * *

 

The next day things got...interesting.

“We have run into a bit of a problem.”  Voice #1 said.

Spencer had been dragged from the holding cell back through the maze of hallways.  Once in this space his hands were cuffed in front of him and attached to something that pulled them up over his head.  At least he had his feet on the floor.  In front of him was a neutral grey space, leaving him effectively blind.

“What’s that?”  Voice #2 asked.

“Half the fun is watching these little fuckers freak out when they see what’s coming to them.  But agent doctor here can’t see anymore.  I thought about bringing Queenie in to describe things for him but some of the guys said having her on the floor would kill the mood.”

“Not being able to get it up in front of a woman is called being gay.”  Jack said from somewhere in the room.  A moment later Spencer heard him groan as he heard the sound of a fist sinking in to a stomach.

“Just for being a smart ass you get to go first.”  Voice #1 said.  “Anyway I realized technology could solve the problem for us.”  Spencer felt the heat of someone stepping in quite close, someone fiddling with the chains that held his arms overhead, someone attaching something to his finger, and then someone pressed something familiar into  and around his ear.  “You’ve worked with an earwig before, haven’t you agent doctor?”

“Yes,sir.”  Spencer replied.  He clicked the switch in his hand to activate the microphone that curved around his jaw.  “Alice?”

 _“Yes...I...”_ There were a few odd sounds as Alice settled the equipment into place.  They hooked the transmitting box to the chain, he thought, so it was out of their way.  _“Spencer?  Can you hear me?”_

“I can.”  He replied.  He couldn’t sense them close to him so he dared to keep talking, even as he kept his voice down.  “Where are you?”

_“In this little room in the center of things.  I can see each of the torture rooms through the windows in the walls.  I think there are mirrors on the other side of the windows.”_

Set up like an interrogation room, Spencer thought.  “Where are they in relation to me?”

_“On the other side of the room.  They’re putting Jack in the stocks.”_

“Okay, I want you to tell me everything that’s going on...”


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**There**

**Then**

Two hours later Spencer landed on his bed roll.  He felt miserable.  Not only was his body aching and sore from the beating but his genital were hypersensitive from overstimulation and his entire groin was swollen from over congestion.  He felt like he’d been kicked down there, and often.  Worse than when Hotch kicked him over and over on that case so long ago.  Possibly even worse than when he’d been kicked in high school. 

“Go take a shower and whack off.”  Jack said.  “You’ll feel better.”

“Want an ice pack for your jaw?”  Alice asked.

“No.  Give it to Mikey.  Go.”  Jack nudged Spencer with his toe.

“No.”  Spencer replied with a groan.

“Why the hell not?”

“Epididymal hypertension will resolve on its own.  I refuse to compromise my values for an Unsub.”

“It’s your johnson.”  Jack said.  He moved off to check the others.           

Spencer felt someone drop down beside him.  “Compromise your values?”  Alice asked.

He managed a chuckle.  Maybe if he didn’t move... “My mother is a professor of Medieval literature.  She raised me on stories of knights and ladies and chivalry.”

“Saving that for your lady fair?”

Spencer felt himself blush.  “Trying to, anyway.”

Alice was quiet a long moment.  “That’s actually really romantic.”  She said, “Better than my reason.”

“What’s your reason?”

She was quiet a long moment more, then Spencer felt her moving away.  “Go take your shower.”

* * *

 

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

“Did she ever say what she was waiting for?”

Spencer blinked.  He hadn’t intended to discuss something so personal, he’d just been lost in his memories and reciting.  But he knew Kate would only include what the FBI needed to know.  “After the accident she had to have a simple mastectomy on her left breast.”  He said.  “She was waiting for someone who loved her enough to not care.”

“Do you care?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Awww.”  She smiled but then turned back to the topic. “How did you cope with all of it?”  Kate asked.

This was one of the questions Spencer had not been looking forward to.  “Hypnosis.”

“Okay.”  Kate was skeptical.

“I knew depersonalization, a sensation of being outside your body, was going to be an issue so I went with it.  With Alice’s help I used a mild hypnotic trance to exaggerate the effect.  After that I didn’t really feel anything anymore.  Most of the time.”

“Most of the time?”

“The next day they figured out that Alice and I were more or less sharing a bed, and decided that the...the piercing was in order.”

* * *

 

“You need to have that cleaned.”  Alice said.

The night before they had pierced Spencer’s cock...language was distancing, he thought....and used the piercing to wrap it in a metal cage which locked in place.  Their stated goal was to prevent him from having unauthorized sex with anyone, especially Alice.  He had to assume there was just enough of an open space to change whatever bandages were down there.  He couldn’t see and had no desire to touch anything.   It didn’t even feel like it belonged to him anymore.  “I’m trying not to think about that.”  He admitted.  He was also trying not to think about what the team would say, or that it had been the better part of a week and he was still there.

“Do you want an infection?”

“Not particularly.”

“Come on.”  She helped him to his feet and to the bathroom.  “Salt water soak first.  Fifteen minutes.”  She handed him a cup that would likely work, and he heard her step out.

Soaking his covered penis was the easy part.  After what he assumed were the fifteen minutes were up he heard her come back.  “Now what?”

“Now we have to get the dried blood and discharge off.”  He saw her dark shape come and kneel in front of him and then she reached down and touched him.

Over the past few days in the dungeon he had been introduced not only to what it felt like to be beaten with various instruments (not as bad as you would think) but also to receiving oral, which he had to admit was a remarkably interesting sensation.  The problem was that once the stimulation ended so did the resulting erection, much to the consternation of his tormentors.  The moment they stopped distracting him with intense sensation he started thinking of what was going on and why and any desire or arousal quickly dissipated.

But now a woman was going to touch his penis.

A woman, one with gentle, warm hands and a soft voice.  One who smelled soft and a little spicy as she slept.  A woman, with the soft curves of a woman, and the long hair, and a kind, gentle nature.  A woman who...

She very gently touched the metal cage and lifted him up.

It wasn’t a pinpoint, localized sensation like it was with men.  This time the heat flooded his entire body, and he quickly hit the kind of erection that even he knew wasn’t going anywhere for a while, completely filling that cage and making his head bulge out the openings in an uncomfortable way.  “Sorry.”  He managed to gasp out.  That all hit him so hard, all the things she could do, they could do.  Her body would be warm...

“Um, maybe I should be the one who’s sorry.”  He could hear the embarrassment in her voice.  “Never had that happen before.”

“Never had what happen before?  Oh hello.”  He head Jack’s voice, saw the dark shape at the doorway.  “I suck you off for two whole hours I can’t get half that.  And she, what, looked at you?”

He was teasing.  “I keep telling you people I’m straight.”  Spencer replied.

“Obviously.  Do you want me to help instead?  That thing looks tight.”

“It is but it’s too late now.”  Spencer said.  Jack started chuckling at that.  “Besides, I, um...”

“Might as well enjoy what you can?”  Jack might still be teasing, hard to tell.  “Have fun kiddos.”  With that his shape disappeared.

“I was going to say I’m still deciding if I have a positive or negative attachment to men going.”   Spencer said.  “Or at least to male touch.  I’d rather not mix the two.”

“Understandable.”  He felt her start to gently wipe something damp and a little rough around the most painful places.

“What is that?”  He couldn’t decide if it felt amazing or painful.  Mostly both.

“Cotton swab soaked in salt water.  Just to clean this off.”

After a long moment when he was acutely aware that there was only a thin layer of metal between his skin and her touch he quietly admitted.  “Jack was right.”

“Was he?”

“Yes.”  He had to admit, he was enjoying the gentle attention.  “When we get back, may I...I don’t know, take you out to dinner or something?”

She laughed a little at that.  “Yes, you may.”  After a long moment when she switched to the other side.  “Actually I could arrange for you do quite a bit more if you liked.”

“Oh?”  Was she...flirting with him?  “Arrange?”

“I don’t do that myself, remember?  Not that I wouldn’t....I have people I love and trust that could help with that sort of thing.”

“You wouldn’t...?”

 “You can tell a lot about someone by how they act under pressure.  You’re quite a remarkable man Dr. Reid.  But I don’t think you would be interested in me.  Physically.”

“And you are quite a remarkable woman.”  Yes, he could think about sex at a time like this.  Because what was happening in the dungeon was not sex and the body he inhabited was feeling less and less like his body.  But if he landed in bed with this woman it would be sex, and it would be his body she was right about looking forward to that.  “Why do you think I wouldn’t be interested?”

“I was in an accident when I was younger.  The scarring is...rather extensive.”

“Scarring?”  He felt her take his hand and place it somewhere on her body, likely up under the hem of his shirt.  Where there should have been soft skin there was something rough and rugged.  “Ah.  That doesn’t bother me.”

“Really?”  She sounded skeptical.

“I fell in love with a woman I only ever spoke to on the phone, months before I had any idea what she looked like.  People matter, souls if you like.  Shells don’t.  You’re beautiful.”

“You haven’t ever seen me clearly.”

“I don’t have to.  The more I get to know you the more beautiful you are.”

She was quiet a long moment.  “You mean that.”

“I do.”  He was quiet a moment.  “I’m usually the one who worries about how he looks to the opposite sex.”

“You don’t need to worry about that with me.”

“Sure about that?”

“You are naked at the moment and I was the one who proposed more than dinner, so, yes.”

Ah, right.  Hopefully she wouldn’t notice the extensive blushing.  For all that he had been naked in the dungeon this was the first time he really felt it.  For a moment his body was his again and it felt embarrassing and amazing at the same time.  “There is that.  I think we can safely say we’re both interested in each other.”

“I agree.  Hold on.”

“Why?”  But a moment later he knew.  That had to be the tip of her finger, ever so soft and light, on the most sensitive spot....even more blood rushed down there as he groaned.  “What was...?”  Oh, what if she hadn’t stopped.

“You have a red spot there.  I wanted to make sure it wasn’t some kind of damage.  It’s just a birthmark, you’re fine.”  He saw her shadow move.  “Shower.”  She said.  “Wash around it but try not to touch.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”  He replied, mostly teasing.  He was going to ache for hours now.  And it was completely worth it. 

“Remember that.”  She said with a warm smile in her voice before she moved away.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

He had to tell Kate what happened later that day.  “So Blackburn was the first one?”  Kate asked.

“The only one.”  Spencer replied.  “He, um, didn’t want to share.  And I think most of the others were uncomfortable with my FBI status.”

“Makes sense.  And that was how he hurt Alice?  By making her watch?”

“Yes.  It hurt her more than most would expect.”

Kate looked up.  For a moment she wasn’t just a fellow agent.  Her eyes held the compassion of a friend.  “And you?”

“Depersonalization and derealization became an issue.”

* * *

 

**There**

**Then**

Once again Spencer fell to his knees as he tumbled into the holding room.  He could sense that it was empty, that he was alone.  He also knew that he should get up and get in the shower, but at the moment he couldn’t quite care.  He couldn’t quite feel anything.

He felt the door open, sensed movement behind him.  “Spencer.”  Alice said.  He could hear the tears still in her voice.  “Come on, we should get you cleaned up.”

“I’m all right.”  He said.  He really wasn’t feeling much of anything, was he?  “I’m just tired.”

“You might be bleeding.  You’re certainly a mess.  Come on.”  She started tugging on his arm to get him moving.

But he just sat there.  “You know, they’ve verbally claimed pretty much everything from my knees to my waist.”  He said conversationally.  “I think in truth it’s just all theirs now.  It doesn’t feel like it’s mine anymore.  And nothing feels quite real.”  It took a moment for him to realize what he said.  “Derealization and depersonalization.  That’s what this is.  It’s a trauma reaction to the."  Maybe if he didn't even think rape it wouldn't be real.

“I can see that.”  She was quiet a long moment.  “I never ask this, but, do you trust me?”

“More than I trust anyone else here.”

“Then let me take over for a while.”

Spencer considered this a long moment.  “You know I’ve never really thought about being submissive.  But then I’ve always known I’m not an alpha personality...”

“Compared to whom?”

“My co-workers.  Who, I must admit, are abnormally alpha.”

“You know, the most amazing submissives I know are alpha personalities who choose to submit to authority, simply because it brings them comfort and a release from stress.”

“I can see that.  I’ve also never really explored my sexuality at all.”  He felt his lips quirk into what could be a smile.  “Although Maeve did once say something about making blindfolds fun again.  I admit to being intrigued by that.”

“There’s a start.” 

Even Maeve hinted at this, he thought.  She might have done this.  Maybe this is what I was meant for all along.  “So I guess what I’m saying is...yes.”

He felt her hand come up and caress his cheek.  So gentle and so loving and so different from everything that had come before.  “I would kiss you right now.”  She said.  “But I doubt you can taste anything but them.”

“No, not really.”  Even after he brushed his teeth he could still taste that salty bleach flavor. 

“So I’m not going to kiss you until I cleanse your palette.  Likely with lime custard.  Very tart lime custard.” 

Sweet and silky and tart all at the same time.  Spencer could just imagine that.  “Wonderful idea.”  He leaned into her touch.  My mind and my heart are still my own, he thought, and while they may make my body feel pain my mind and my heart can still feel love. 

“In the meantime come on.”  She tugged his arm again to get him moving.

“What are you doing?”  He couldn’t see a thing, but the light told him they were heading in to the bathroom.

“Washing him off you as best I can.”  She turned on the water, but it didn’t cover her sigh.  “I just wish I could protect you.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”

“Not necessarily.”

Spencer was quiet for a long moment as he processed what he could remember of what just happened.  “This is what you two were fighting about, isn’t it?”

“Pretty much.”

“I’m the last one to figure this out, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

It took him a minute more but he chuckled.  “You just won, didn’t you?”

She started chuckling as well.  “Maybe.  Granted there was no way he could win, it was really a question of me or Jack or no one at all.”

“Yeah, I like Jack but he’s not really my type.”

“I think we noticed that.”  She pushed him gently and all of a sudden there was warm water everywhere.  Plain soap and a rough cloth came next, and gentle, caring touches and...

Somehow, in the middle of all this misery, Spencer Reid realized he’d found something wonderful.  He found his destiny.

* * *

 

**Fiola rooftop  
Washington DC**

**Rossi**

“I lied.”  Alice said.

Dave Rossi had to admit it.  He was cheating.

The case was wrapped.  The Unsubs were in jail.  They had more than enough evidence.  These two weren’t going to be testifying anywhere.  There was no need to worry about clean interviews anymore.  And Dave was concerned about his friend, especially after a little birdie told him about the romping good time Spencer and ‘Lady Victoria’ had the other night.

So he spoke to his friends who owned one of the best Italian restaurants in town, reserved the rooftop for the afternoon, and had them open a very good bottle of wine.  And then another.  And if he was pouring a fair amount more into her glass than into his, well, wine did lubricate the conversation, did it not?  “Oh?”

“He’s mine.”  She said.  “He is.  Besides, what is a submissive personality anyway?”

“Someone who prefers giving up their power.”  That was the pat answer she was expecting, and he wanted to see where she was going with this.

“Yes, well, that’s not him.”  She gazed into the ruby red liquid in her glass.  “But sometimes you need a safe space for your emotions.  Sometimes.”

“You do that for him.”

“I did, and I intend to continue, if he wants me to.”

“What about you?”

She fixed him with those large, dark eyes.  “What about me?”

“What about a safe place for your emotions?  You’ve been through hell too, you know.”

She was quiet a moment.  “So easy not to think about that in a place so beautiful.”  She raised her face to the sun.

“DC is beautiful?”

“I’ve had my fill of the mountains and woods.  Give me a city to hide in for a while.  Yes, my emotions.  Like I said, gentle and strong, he doesn’t seem to have any expectations.  It’s remarkable.  I never felt like I could fall apart with anyone before.”

Rossi smiled.  “Making that safe space for each other, trusting that he’ll be there for you like you’re there for him, that’s called being in love, bella.”  And it was exactly what he’d hoped to hear.

“Bother.”  But she blushed as she emptied her glass.  “When it comes to the community he’s still mine.”

Ah.  “I understand.  You fought Blackburn for him.”

“And.  I.  Won.”

She was speaking from the lingering trauma, warning him off likely like she’d ward off any male dominant that got too close, or perhaps any alpha male.  Well, that was all right, Reid could stand up to her if he wanted to.  That she wasn’t letting go spoke of a great deal of love.  “If I wanted him, and either of us was in to men, I could have claimed him years ago.”  In other words, he was not a threat here.

Her smile was a little wicked.  “Your loss.”

“Very likely.”  She wasn’t quite ready to stop protecting him, even though there was no longer a need.  He could understand that.  A kink-friendly therapist, time, and support from the people who loved them would help them sort it.  “You know they have an extensive dessert wine list here.”

Alice laughed at him.  “God no.  I was planning on going shopping this afternoon.  Now my accountant is going to be miffed because you got me tipsy.  Yes.”  She grinned at him.  “I know what you’ve been doing.   And it worked, dammit.  No, strong coffee and a dessert menu, please.  I have to sop up all this wine.”

Rossi laughed with her.  “How about I just order one of everything?”

“Marvelous idea.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

“From that point on I pretty much checked out of the whole process.”  Spencer said.  “I could intellectually tell you about water torture or the use of hot wax or these big saddle things but I’m honestly not anywhere close to ready to go back and process those emotions.”

“Therapy.”  Kate said.

“So.  Much.  Therapy.”  Spencer agreed.  He had never been much for talking to a psychologist, but for this he totally would.

“Let’s just hit the highlights.  You said that there was a victim that was killed while you were there?”

“Yeah.  Mikey.”

* * *

 

**There**

**Then**

It was almost inevitable.  Given what they were doing to him, how they were abusing him, it was no surprise when one day Mikey woke burning from fever.  “What does it mean?”  Jack asked.

“Check his groin.”  Spencer said.  “Look for red lines radiating up toward his abdomen.”

“Yeah, he’s got that.  And they’re hot.  What does that mean?”

Jack knows, Spencer thought, but he’s in denial.  “Sepsis.  Blood poisoning.  It means gangrene is forming deep in the tissue.  He needs antibiotics and it...”

“Robot dick.”  Jack said with morbid humor.  “Think they’ll do that today?”

Spencer could sense Alice’s tension.  Jack had to prepare himself.  “Jack, my team was here investigating a serial killer.”

“They’ll help him.”  Jack said, but Spencer could hear his voice thickening.

“...the killer was leaving the bodies of young men in the woods...”

“They’ll help him!  He’s still good for them!”

“Jack.”  Alice said, her voice close to tears.

“Fuck off!  Both of you!”  Jack ordered.  Spencer heard him moving to the far corner of the room, taking Mikey with him.

“Lou.”  Alice said quietly.  “Come help me with the laundry.”

Spencer heard what she didn’t say.  Give Jack and Mikey time to say good-bye.

* * *

 

 

Later they came for them, of course.  This time Spencer had a harder time checking out of what was being done to him, because Alice wasn’t singing in his ear piece today.

She was sobbing.

Later still he once again landed on the pile of bedding, sore and aching and cold.  As he usually did he remained there and waited for Alice to help him to the shower so she could treat his wounds.  She was always the last one back.  He lay there until he heard her come in, crying.

“Where’s Mikey?”  Jack asked.  There was too long a pause.  “Where is he!”

Alice couldn’t stop crying.  “It didn’t hurt.”  She said too quietly.  “It was quick.”

“No.”  Jack said.  “No.  You lying, cunting...”  But he knew.  He knew.  Spencer heard him start to wail. 

They all moved them.  They all moved to Jack, to hold him in his grief.

* * *

 

“You know...”  Spencer started some time later, when the first storms of grief had spent.

“Are you going to tell me that this is God’s will?”  Jack asked, his voice low and bitter.  “Or some other kind of happy crap?”

“No.”  Spencer replied.  “I lost the woman I loved once.  She was killed in front of me.  And honestly, the first time someone said some...some happy crap to me after she died I dammed near drew my gun and shot her and she’s my best friend.  No, I was going to say I died once.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  An Unsub made me OD on narcotics.  I was dead for about a minute, minute and a half before he restarted my heart.”

“Did you see anything?’

“I did.  I know near-death experiences are usually dismissed as visions of the lights and people in the emergency room but I was all alone in a dark shack in the middle of nowhere so that doesn’t hold.  And I was going to say something my boss said after his wife was killed.”

“What’s that?”

“That he didn’t have to worry about her anymore because she was in the only place where he knew the monsters out there would never find her.  That’s where Mikey is right now, he’s safe somewhere where no one can ever hurt him again in any way.  And I can say from experience that that place is warm and peaceful and full of love.  A remarkable amount of love.  And if connections on this plane matter on that one then he is surrounded by strong people who will look after him until you get there.  And I know you can trust them to do that because they were my friends.”

Jack was quiet a moment.  “Do you believe that praying does anything?”

“I don’t know.”  Spencer said. “But I’ll ask them to look after him for you anyway.”

“Thanks.”

* * *

 

Even in the interview Spencer’s voice was soft and cracking with emotions.  “Jack and Mikey were only apart for two weeks.  That was the last thing Jack said, that he was going to go look for Mikey.”

“And he’s one of the bodies Mr. Underwood found?”

“Yes.  They identified him this morning.”

“Do you remember anything about getting out of there?”

Spencer shook his head, shook off the grief.  “That was the last thing I heard before they grabbed me.  After that I was honestly too high to remember much of anything until I woke up in the hospital.”

“All right.”  Kate closed her notebook.  “You know we’re going to have to get the rest of it in time.”

“Eidetic memory.”  Spencer replied.  “I’m not going to forget.”

“I know.”  They stood to leave the room.  “Do you still do hugs?”  Kate asked.

“Always.”  Spencer replied with a smile.  And he collected a huge one.

They moved out to the bullpen where Alice was waiting at the break table, surrounded by a remarkable number of shopping bags.  “Dave got me drunk.”  She said when she saw him looking at them.  “And I’m participating.”

Spencer couldn’t help it.  He smiled and pulled her into his arms.  Maybe they would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want me to write about water torture or the use of hot wax or the big saddle things or anything of that sort over in the graphic scenes section please let me know. It won't really add to the plot at this point but I know some people enjoy that sort of thing.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3
> 
> In the flush of love's light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free.
> 
> \- Maya Angelou

**Chapter 27**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

Morgan said he was taking them back to the hotel at the end of the day, but he wasn’t quite done yet.  So they settled on the couch in the conference room to wait.  “What is all this?”  Spencer asked, eying the pile of shopping bags.

“I’m participating.”  Alice replied.

“By shopping?”  Oh, that didn’t sound right.  “I’m not condemning, I want to understand.”

Alice thought a moment.  “Do you know what I always loved about the BDSM community?  It’s support and it’s confidentiality.  If you want to run around in a bib and a diaper and be treated like a two year old, they will indulge you and never say a word outside the community.  Or if you want to go around on your knees with a muzzle on your face and have everyone treat you like a puppy.  Or if you want to act like you’ve been, I don’t know, possessed by aliens or...”

“...or you want to live like you were born a hundred years ago?”  Spencer could see where this was going.

Alice smiled gently.  “And no one ever said a word to my mother.  She never came to find me, scornful because I was doing something silly rather than working on my career.  She was scornful enough when she thought I was just passing through on my way to a Pulitzer.”

“But now?”

She was quiet a long moment more.  “Life’s too short.”  She said, her eyes too big and too luminous.  “You never know...you could go to bed one night and wake up in hell.  I’m not going to die regretting days and days of life and only appreciating a few hours a month.”

“Good.”  He put his arm around her and pulled her head down to his shoulder. 

“So I’m going to wear what I always wanted to wear, even if it shows my scars, and I’m going to try the things I always wanted to try even if it wastes my time and does nothing for my career and I’m going to read the books I want and try to live in a house even though a house is just a money pit.  Even though I have no clue how.”  She laughed even though he could hear tears in there.  “I can hear Jack now.  ‘Took you this long to figure it out?  You haven’t even spoken to your mother in how long?  Stupid bitch.’”

They laughed at that, even though they shouldn’t.  “He’s laughing at you, somewhere.”

“I have no doubt about that.  Fuck you Jack.  Fuck you twice.”  But she said it with love.  She looked up at him.  “How are you today?”

“Tired.  I’ve been talking all day.”  In response to that she lifted her head and tugged his to her shoulder.  No complaints there.  “And there will be a lot more talking to do in the future.”

“It will keep it from happening to someone else, you said.”

“It will.  The more we learn the better we are at stopping them.”

“They would like that.  Jack would.”  She threaded lazy fingers through his hair, so comforting.  “Do I need to sing to you?”

“If you do I’ll sleep on this couch.  It’s not that comfortable a couch, I’ve slept here before.”

“After dinner then.”  But she hugged him to her anyway.  So tempting just to kick off his shoes and curl up and...

Dave came in then.  “We got them.”  He said.  “They arrested the last conspirator an hour ago.

“Yes.”  Spencer replied.  Problem solved, Unsubs caught, justice being done.  Now they could relax.  “Do we have their mug shots yet?’

“I think so.  Why?”

“I never saw their faces.”  He needed to know who did this to him.  He just did.

Dave shrugged and moved to the intercom on the table.  A moment later Garcia had thrown the mug shots up on the big screen over the round table.  They looked...ordinary.  Just like any people you’d see in any department in the country.  Some part of him had hoped for something different.

“Who is that?”  Alice asked, pointing to the picture in the lower left corner.

Dave squinted a little and consulted the file on his tablet.  “Deputy John Schrader.”  He said.  “They picked him up this morning.”

“That’s not Schrader.”  Alice said.

“What do you mean?”

“Ten years older, at least a foot taller, dark grey hair....”

Uh oh.  “Garcia.”  Spencer said as he unfolded himself from the couch.

* * *

 

It took her less than an hour.  “Their hacker is good but I am better.  It looks like they missed a co-conspirator, their cyber crime guy.  He went in and changed pictures and descriptions in all the official files.”

“Why?’  Alice asked.

“Because the Sheriff still has someone in play.”  Hotch replied. 

“Thing is, you can never quite find everything on the internet.  I found this.” Garcia pulled up what looked like a clip from a local news cast.  The deputy talking about some common drug bust fit Alice’s description, tall, iron grey hair, maybe in his 30’s...

But the voice was what did it.  Voice #1.  The moment Spencer heard that voice he could smell the disinfectant in that room, taste bitter bleach, he hurt....

“Spencer.”  Alice said quietly.  She squeezed his hand to bring him back to the here and the now.

No one else said anything.  They had all had their share of flashbacks.  “That’s John Schrader?”  Hotch asked.

“Yes.”  Alice replied.  “He’s the one who killed them.”

“Did he make you watch?”  Dave asked.

Alice nodded.

“Did anyone else actually watch?”

She shook her head.

Everyone in the room sighed.

“What?”  She asked.

Spencer pulled her to him, pressed a kiss to her hair.  “He’s coming after the witness.”

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**FBI Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

“It’s not full on witness protection.”  Spencer said.  “It’s really more protective custody.  Um, you’ll be able to stay in the city and go to your doctor’s appointments, but the rest of the time you’ll be at a safe house.  And you’ll be under guard 24/7.”  Alice looked at him for a long moment, her eyes too dark, her face, at least to him, unreadable.  “It actually won’t be that bad, and it should only be for a few days.  Schrader doesn’t profile for patience, he wants this over with.”

“What about you?”  She finally asked.

“What about me?”  He asked in reply.

“Who’s going to be there for you?”

“My team will be.  I know I questioned when it took so long but I really believe they care.  They’ll keep me safe, I promise.”

“But that’s not enough, Spencer.  Who’s going to be there for the nightmares?  Who’s going to be there when the memories become too much or when you need to ramble to get things out of your head or to remind you that’s it’s okay to laugh?  Who’s going to be there when the...the problem becomes an issue?  If I’m...sent away who’s going to be there?”

“You are.”  Spencer said after a long moment.  “Look, I know that what you do, that what matters to you, is to make a safe place for the people you love to be exactly who they are.  For me that’s where you are, no matter where it is.  The only thing that kept me sane in there was knowing that at the end of the night I would be back at your side.  If I know you’re safe then I know I can come back to that and knowing that will let me keep going.”

“You deserve more than that.”  She replied.  “You deserve to actually have that, every single day of the rest of your life.”

That was...that was...”Promise?”

“Absolutely.”   She took that one more step to him and pulled him into her arms.

Which was the only place he wanted to be.  He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and just breathed.  Oh this was going to hurt.  “As soon as this is over....”

“That is exactly what you will have.”  She held him close as long as she could.  “And in the meantime since I am likely going to be staying in a house I will figure out how to function in one again.  Maybe I can expand that safe space to include four walls and a roof somehow.”

“I have no doubt you will.” Letting go was so hard, so achingly hard.  There was no logical basis for it but he just felt safer around her and letting go seemed impossible.  But Hotch was at the door to the conference room and there were people waiting and he had to let go.

“I love you.”  She murmured as she kissed him once more and then walked out the door.

He stood on the catwalk and watched her go to the elevators and beyond and realized that he had lied.  He loved his friends, they were his family of the heart, but no one could replace her.

* * *

 

**Rossi**

He should not have laughed.  He should not have lost control and laughed.  He should have said something.

Spencer was safe, or at least safe enough, and while there was still an Unsub out there he would not be that hard to catch.  Everything was going the way it should be going, Alice was going into protective custody, Spencer would be staying the night at a safe house, tomorrow they would set a trap and catch the last Unsub and all would be just fine.  Everything as it should be.  Which was likely why Morgan felt comfortable enough to let loose with a little joking around.  “We’re only 53 years away from the Death Star.”  Morgan said, mimicking Spencer’s voice and body language.  “Now that the Hadron thing is existing...”

Okay, it was funny.

Right up until Hotch cleared his throat behind them.

Rossi turned, and his stomach sank.  It wasn’t just Hotch, he might have said something and they would have knocked it off.  But Alice Huntington was standing there with him.  He’d seen that look on a woman’s face before, angry and offended and hurt on behalf of another.  But all of it controlled beneath a clean, bright mask.  “I’ve changed my mind.”  She said in a clear, confident voice.  “I’m not going.”

Hotch sighed.  “Protective custody...”

“No.”  She said, cutting him off firmly.  It took a lot to stand up to Hotch, but she was doing it with ease.  “I go with Spencer or not at all.”

“But...”

“You can try arresting me, but you’d better have good cause because I can afford very good lawyers.”  She turned and started walking to the break area, where her luggage was waiting.  “You can also have security put me out but I have no problem waiting at the highway.”

“We can protect the both of you...”

“Oh can you?  Like you did last time?  May I remind you that I rescued both of us, after six weeks of imprisonment on his part?”

“Politics...”

“And what is to stop politics from rearing its ugly head again?  No, really, give me one good reason why I should trust him to this pack of...of childish bullies you call a team?”  She looked directly at Morgan when she said that.  

“Miss Huntington...”

“What I should do is hire a solid security firm to protect both of us while you settle this.  At least they would act in a professional manner.”

“Miss Huntington.”  Morgan said.  “I apologize if I offended you in any way.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”  She said.  “And you should learn how to make a proper apology while you’re at it.”

Morgan opened his mouth, but closed it again.  “I am not going to win here, am I?”  He asked Rossi.

“Not for a few years, no.”  Every Domme he ever met held grudges until they fossilized, Rossi thought, especially where their subs were concerned.  And Lady Victoria was crystallizing a good one right in front of him.  “I am sorry.”  He said to her.  “A the senior agent around here I give you my word it won’t happen again.”

That at least thawed matters a trifle.  “Thank you.”  She said.  But she was still unrelenting.  She turned to Hotch.  “We go together or I arrange for private security.  Which shall it be?”

“I’ll make arrangements for you two to go together.”  He said.

“Thank you.”  She replied.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Morgan**

 “I’m confused.”  Spencer said.  “First she was going to a safe house and I was staying in the Academy dorm, now we’re going together.  What’s going on?”

Morgan sighed.  “Look, kid...I screwed up.”

“What happened?”

“You know, I think of you as the little brother I never had, all right?  And sometimes...okay, I was playing around, I was goofing, I was...”

Just like that the genius got it.  “You were making fun of me?”

Okay, now Morgan felt like a heel.  “Yeah, all right.  And I’m sorry; it was...not right of me.  I apologize.”

Okay, it had been stupid, but why did the kid look so hurt?  “We’re you doing that back in Madrone County?”  Spencer asked.

Morgan opened his mouth, but then he stopped for a minute.  Had he?  They’d been having such a hard time trying to figure out what was not right with the department there and he was trying to get them to open up... “I don’t have your memory.  Maybe, I don’t...”

“They told me you were glad I was gone.  They said you were relieved to be rid of me.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“I know.  That’s not the point.  The point is that you gave them ammunition to use against me.  You showed an Unsub my weaknesses so he could better attack me.”

“I didn’t think other cops could be the Unsub.”

“Why not?  We’ve dealt with dirty cops before.  You know you can’t trust anyone in the field, not completely.  We were even saying something wasn’t right.”

Why was the kid picking on this?  Why didn’t he just accept his apology?  “I was trying to get them to like me, all right?”

But the kid was not letting it go.  “At my expense.”

Damn it.  “Look, I know you can take it...”

“Can I?”

  1.   Morgan sighed.  “I’m sorry.  I screwed up.”



“Yeah, you did.  And if I know it then you can be sure Alice has already figured that out.  We’ve worked together for over ten years now, I know you have self-esteem issues.”

What?  “I don’t....”

“But she doesn’t know you at all.  How can she trust you, or anyone on this team, to protect us if you’re handing over intel to the Unsubs just to get a laugh?”

“I didn’t...”

“While getting other cops to like and accept you might be your subconscious priority Alice is the only witness that can pin each of the murders directly on Schrader.  If we lose her the entire case might fall apart.  Since she no longer trusts you or likely the rest of the team protecting her just became considerably more difficult.  And since I’m not yet cleared to carry I can only be of so much help here.”

“You can convince her to go through with the original plan.”

Spencer looked at him for a long moment.  “Actually at present I feel a lot safer with her around.”  He turned to walk away.

Damn it.  “I said I was sorry.”

Spencer stopped and turned back.  “A true apology consists of four parts, saying what you did wrong, saying why it was wrong, explaining how you plan to correct yourself in the future, and only then asking for forgiveness.  You might want to practice that.”

Morgan watched him walk away.

Son of a bitch.

* * *

 

**Rossi**

“I could send them both to the Academy dorms.”  Hotch said.

“I wouldn’t.”  Dave replied as he followed his friend into his office.  “Morgan already got us on the wrong side here, we don’t want to make this worse or we’ll lose control of the situation entirely.”

“And that would make it worse?”

“Yes.”  Now how could he explain this to his oh-so-vanilla friend?  “If it helps think of it as a different culture.”

“Reid’s not from that culture.”

“No, but your witness is.  You’re going to have to make some accommodations to ensure her cooperation.  In this case that does involve Reid.”

“How so?”

“She’s a civilian.  She doesn’t understand the physical threat like we do.  Her focus is on his emotional safety, making sure he’s not psychologically harmed again.”

“And she doesn’t think we can protect him from that?”

“Not anymore, thanks to Morgan.  At the moment I could likely say anything to her I wanted, delivered any insult, offered any threat and she would just take it in stride.  If I looked at Reid cross-eyed she’d be out of here like a shot, likely dragging him with her as she went.”

“He wouldn’t go.”

“I’m not a hundred percent about that, and that’s what concerns me.  So our best bet is to let her keep protecting him emotionally, to respect that relationship, while we protect both of them physically.   And a room with two single beds divided by a partition is not the way to do that.  To a woman of that culture, in that frame of mind, you’re saying you don’t support that relationship.  And since you don’t know her from Adam she knows her feelings don’t matter here but it does mean his feelings on the subject don’t matter.”

“That he doesn’t matter.”

“Yes.  Morgan making fun of him behind his back already illustrated that for her.  That is a problem for her.”

“I need to talk to him about that.”

“Yes, and you might include JJ when she gets back as well.”

“We do have a bad habit of not looking after each other’s emotional health the way we should.”

“We do.  It’s something we need to work on as a team.”  All of a sudden Dave had an idea.  “I think I can simplify this.”

“Please.”

“In that culture that kind of commitment can be stronger than most marriages, how would you house a married couple in this situation?”

Hotch looked floored for a moment.  “I never thought of Reid as married.”

“He likely will be someday, if not her than someone else.  I think this whole unit needs a bit of adjustment.  In the meantime talk to the protective custody team, see what they do for a married couple.  Make Morgan sleep on the couch as penance.”

Hotch reached for the phone.  “Think it will be comfortable enough for her?”

“At the moment I doubt she cares.  She just wants to be there when he starts having nightmares.”

“How are you so sure about all this?”

Dave smiled.  “Do you really want the answer to that?”

“Likely not.”  Hotch replied.  “But tell me anyway.”

“If he was mine that’s what I would want.  I wouldn’t give a damn what you did to me but if you got in the way of me looking after mine by making us sleep in separate beds I would be royally pissed.”

“You’re right.  I didn’t want to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the slow posting. Thanksgiving.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**FBI safe house  
Somewhere in Washington DC**

**Morgan**

After everything was settled and they got to the safe house Morgan tried again. "Look kid, I'm sorry. Making fun of you, of anyone, is wrong. It not only damages unit cohesion but it hurts my friends who don't deserve it. From now on I will remember that my friends and my team come before relations with any cops in the field and that even among friends teasing like that can hurt. And I won't do it again. Forgive me?"

It worked. Morgan could see it work. "Of course." Spencer replied. There might have been a hug in there, but neither of them would likely admit it later. "And thank you for staying for me. I always knew you would, I hung on to that."

"You know it kid." Morgan replied with a grin. He looked over at Alice who happened to be peaking in to the kitchen. "We good lady?"

"We're better." But she was smiling in a much friendlier sort of way.

Which was fine and great and dandy until dinner came around. They ordered pizza from the nearest place, which didn't seem to bother her any, and sat around a battered card table on mismatched folding chairs in a worn-out room, which also didn't seem to bother her any. She seemed to be contentedly hanging back a bit, quietly on the edge of things. But something wasn't right. Sure, Spencer was babbling on about something like he always did, irritating the other agents in the room, but that was so normal it was comforting. So why did she seem like she was on edge about something?

After a bit she got up to go to the kitchen to get more pizza. He wandered back there to join her. "Okay, what's wrong?" He asked.

She was quiet a moment. "How well do you know these men?"

What kind of question was that? "They're FBI agents." He replied. "I trust them at my back. Why? You think they're going to go after you?"

"Not me." No, she wasn't afraid. "But Spencer's scared."

Huh? Morgan turned his head to listen, to watch his friend's body language, the tone of his voice. Sure enough, his friend was nervous, his tone and body language all showed it. "Damn. I didn't realize."

"He babbles like that when he's nervous about something. At least in the time I've known him. I just can't tell if it's a general reaction or if he's subconsciously picking up on something."

A threat? Hells no, these were FBI agents. These were their brothers. But then Morgan stopped for a moment. He would have said the same about Sheriff Blackburn and his men. That had been the second time Spencer had been attacked by dirty cops, and now he'd surrounded him with even more male cops, strangers. At this point he would expect strange men with the bearing and body language of cops to put Spencer on edge. "Likely a general reaction." He said. "But I'll be here tonight, just in case. Why don't you take him to bed, get him away from it."

"All right. Maybe I can calm him down a little."

Morgan opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. "Nope, not going to say it." He busied himself with his pizza and soda. A moment later he felt a sharp, stinging smack on the back of his head. "Hey!"

"Penelope said your mother told her that's what she used to do when you teased your sisters." Alice said with a smile.

"Yeah, but she pulled it." That hurt, darn it. But he was grinning.

"I never pull my slaps." Alice replied with a grin. "At least not on large, muscular men. Spencer." Little brother turned at her soft call. "Bedtime." She mouthed.

"Right. Uhhh, good night everyone." Spencer said as he bowed out and away from the table. She tugged him down the hall toward the bedroom.

"I'm going to call that a compliment." Morgan said as they headed out.

"Do." She replied with a grin. Then the door closed behind him.

"What a freaking weirdo." One of the younger agents said.

If nothing else Derek Morgan learned from his mistakes. "That is one of the finest agents we have. He has more commendations than I have shirt space for them. I'd want him at my back any day." He said rather sternly. "Don't you have to check the perimeter?"

Suitably chastised the younger agent nodded and went with his partner to walk around the house in the rain.

Don't worry little brother, Morgan thought, I got your back.

* * *

 

"What's wrong?" Alice asked as she sat on the bed.

Spencer didn't know. He felt restless and out of sorts as he paced around the small, plain bedroom. "I don't know." He said. "I'm not sure."

"Remember to breathe." She said

He breathed, slowly, in and out. In and out. And after a few he managed to relax enough to sort out what he was feeling. "I'm afraid."

"Of?"

"Of having to do that again." There were so many strange men in this place. On the one hand he knew they were all fellow agents, here to protect them. On the other hand just having them around was unnerving the hell out of him. "I can't risk that again."

"Risk?"

It was easier to say this to the moon out the window than to her. "I was so close there at the end. I was so tired and I hurt so much and Schrader wanted..." He just couldn't say it.

"I know what Schrader wanted." She replied. "And I know you refused to give it to him. Your strength is admirable."

"Thank you. But I know how tired I am." He closed his eyes, the moon was so bright. "I can't do that again. I can't fight like that again."

"You know..."

"I know." If he didn't want to give it to someone, to let someone have that power, if only so much of it, then this wouldn't be an issue. "And I know what you're going to say."

"Do you? Am I that transparent?"

"Profiler. Are you really up for that right now?" She was as wounded as he was, at heart if not in body. More.

She was quiet a long moment. "I don't know what I could do with it." He felt her shudder from the far side of the room. "I...need to heal. As do you. But we already had this discussion."

"Yes. In there."

"Does being out here make a difference for you?"

"No. Does it for you? We never discussed if that was temporary or not."

"No, we didn't. But that is your decision to make."

He finally looked around and managed a smile. "And you don't have any say in this?"

"I cannot accept or decline what you do not offer. Remember, you can only give. That cannot be taken, not by Blackburn, not by Schrader, not by anyone in the future." She smiled gently. "And you know, once you give it only you can take it back. So if anyone tried they'd have to answer to me."

To her. To a delicate woman who was not quite well. But somehow she was so very strong, he knew that if he did she would never let go. If he did this part of him would always be safe. If he did he would always have that safe place at her side. And no one could ever take that from him, ever.

He moved from the window, sat on the bed beside her, and rested his head on her shoulder.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him. "I accept." She said. "Mine."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**FBI Safe House  
Somewhere in Washington DC**

Morgan didn't know how she did it and he didn't dare ask. But by the next morning Spencer was considerably calmer. Even with the strange agents around them.

Although it might have something to do with the chain he now had hanging around his neck. Nothing flashy, the kind of thing that might hold dog tags. A lot of guys wore one, but he'd never seen one peeking out from Spencer's collar before. "What is that?" Morgan asked.

"Kind of private." Spencer replied.

At one point Morgan caught a glimpse of it. It was some bright bit of something, a little charm hanging there, all bright colors. "Like, maybe, a piece of broken china plate?" Rossi asked.

Morgan considered what he saw. "Could be."

"Yep, it's private. And don't tell him you told me either."

"You know, I hate it when people keep secrets. And I don't like not knowing what someone on my team is up to."

Rossi sighed. "In that culture it's something like an engagement ring."

Ohhhhh. "Oh. Okay, I can get with that."

"When they want to make it public they will."

"That's all right."

But private engagement would mean public engagement at some point and then sooner or later marriage, which to Morgan's mind meant one thing. "You two need to learn to live in a house." He said the next morning.

"We...we what?" Spencer asked. "Why?"

"You just do. You don't know how to load a dishwasher?"

"Um, no."

"Come here. Might as well start somewhere."

* * *

 

**Burn Center  
MedStar Washington Medical Center**

The big reason for not sending them somewhere outside DC was because Alice needed medical treatment. Burn scars were fragile, they tore easily, needed gentle soaps so they wouldn't dry out and lotion to keep them supple and a healthy diet to support the structures under them. During her time in captivity Alice had not been able to look after herself as she should and now she needed to be evaluated and perhaps treated. She would bounce back, Spencer was certain of that, but she would not do it alone.

And they were not alone at the medical center. A brace of agents and Morgan had gone along with them. This was the only place they were allowed to go right now, but even just this was a pain. Like most medical offices these days it was a rat's warren of hallways and office spaces, doubling back and crossing each other as partitions were put into place to accommodate new equipment or new desks. From where Spencer and Morgan were sitting, just outside the exam room where Alice was meeting the doctor, flipping through magazines, they could hear the front desk, but it took a while to walk through the maze to get back here.

Which was why it happened the way it did. "Can I help you?" They heard the receptionist ask.

"I'm looking for the other agents." A male voice replied.

The sound of that voice sent a chill down Spencer' spine. He immediately reacted, getting Morgan's attention. "What?" Morgan asked.

"Schrader."

"You sure?"

"Yes." Spencer thought very, very fast. "Here's what we'll do."

A few moments later a very tall man in a neat suit with an FBI badge on his belt and a gun in his holster followed the nurse down the hallway. He smiled and murmured his thanks and sat in the seat right next to Spencer. They sat there quietly for a long moment, then there was a noise down the hallway. Schrader turned and looked, saw that it was just the business of the office, and went back to waiting. After a moment Spencer spoke. "I know why you're here."

Schrader looked at him.

"You want one more shot at me." Spencer went on. "You could have run, Canada or Mexico. You could have told Blackburn you wouldn't be his errand boy. You could have even taken Alice out as a sniper, you have the skills, it's in your file. But you needed to come here. You need one more chance to see if you can make me submit to you."

Schrader smiled.

"That's what you want, isn't it? You want me on my knees before you, begging, willing to let you have everything I am if you would just...well, why doesn't really matter. Provide sexual release would have been ideal but stopping the pain would have worked just as well. And now begging for my life, or Alice's, will have to do the trick."

Schrader chuckled a little.

"That's what you always wanted, isn't it? You killed the others because after you broke them into submission you realized they weren't good enough, it was too easy, not enough of a challenge. But an FBI agent? That would have finally satisfied the need in you." Now Spencer quirked a smile. "Unfortunately that need is never going to be met, not because you're a psychopath or because of some childhood issue, which I could go on about in depth, or because you're under arrest for multiple murders..."

Schrader looked up as Morgan came around the corner, his weapon pointed at the other man's head. The other agents were also clustering around, having moved the clinic personnel and patients out of the way. Schrader moved to draw his weapon and found that, just like magic, someone had slipped a set of cuffs around his wrist and cuffed him to the chair. By the time he could think to attempt to awkwardly draw with his other hand Morgan had taken his gun away.

The whole time Spencer had not looked up from the magazine on his lap. "...but because I gave that to Alice before you even got started. In fact I was on my knees before her last night, quite the amazing sensation. She said I was remarkable..."

That finally broke Schrader. He growled in his frustration and anger and tried to get up but the cuffs held him fast. The other agents quickly moved to subdue him.

Spencer was smiling as he got out of the way. It all happened so quietly that he had to go tap on the exam room door once they had Schrader secure. The doctor opened the door and revealed Alice buttoning her blouse. She took one look at the man just going into custody and her eyes went wide. "Oh my god!"

"I'll call that a positive ID." Spencer said.

"I agree." Morgan replied.

The last thing Schrader saw as he was taken away was Alice stepping in to Spencer's arms.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**Emergency Department  
MedStar Washington Medical Center**

**Six month later**

Another case, another chance for Spencer to get injured. This time he'd been kicked around by the Unsubs. Likely nothing major but he had to get checked out for evidence. "I'll go in with you." Morgan said.

"I'd really rather Rossi come in with me." Spencer replied.

"Why?"

"It's a...um..."

Morgan shook his head. Over the past six months Spencer and Alice had settled in to what his auntie would call playing house together. Alice had indeed bought a house, specifically a large duplex in a very nice neighborhood in DC, in addition to the two inns as a business venture. Tomás was managing the business, she was acting as silent partner while she healed from a lot of crap in her life. Joey was at George Washington. They were okay.

As for the house she and Spencer had moved in to one side, Tomás and Joey into the other. That way if Alice started feeling uncomfortable when Spencer was out of town it was easy for her to go next door but when he was home they had their privacy. And they had been learning to cook and clean and take care of an actual house along the way. They were even getting pretty good at it. They were both quite intelligent after all, they just needed someone to show them what to do once and they were good to go with it.

As for the rest of it, Morgan knew the two sides of the building shared a cellar, and that it had been extensively renovated before they moved in. But he had not asked for the details.

Now it was an um. "Um?"

"Um."

"Rossi can come with us." Morgan had learned not to tease so hard but Spencer was still his little brother. He was going to have his back.

That vow lasted until Spencer got his shirt off. He still wore that little charm on that chain around his neck, but he was wearing so much more these days. Specifically bruises, bruises in the distinctive pattern of ropes on his wrists, arm, shoulders... "How did...?" The Unsubs had thrown a few punches, kicked him when he was down, but that didn't make sense with these marks...

"Someone had a fun week-end." Rossi said with a twinkle of a smile.

"Well, yes." Spencer agree as he turned bright red.

All of a sudden Morgan's brain hit vapor lock. Alice liked to watch, right. "Okay, Rossi, you're up. I'm out. No no, I do not want to know. Just tell me you're happy."

"Very." Spencer replied with a smile.

"Good enough." Morgan excused himself from the exam room. But on the way out he was smiling.

His little brother was going to be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this one is done.  Much thanks to P for all of her input.  And also cats
> 
> Unless anyone wants any more XXX rated details I'll be closing out the secondary story as well
> 
> I am still working on my open ones but I have a new one going up, just because I'm crazy like that and need the input.  Thank you all for your comments, they help far more than you know.


End file.
